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Thursday, August 3, 2017

Aunts and Nephews

More days than not, someone finds this blog by doing a search on something like...

incest, aunt nephew, how common
or
Is it incest to have sex with your aunt
or
Do aunts and nephews have sex
or
I’m in love with my aunt
or
Can an aunt marry her nephew

You get the idea. People are searching for information on aunts and nephews having a romantic or erotic connection or marrying. At least some of them are very likely to be aunts who are having sex or want to have sex with a nephew and vice-versa. It is a not-so-distant runner-up to searches about siblings having sex or marrying. Keep in mind that much of this entry also applies to aunts and nieces, and to uncles and nieces and uncles and nephews.

Around these parts, an “aunt” can be:

A mother’s or father’s or grandmother’s or grandfather’s sister
A wife or partner or girlfriend of a mother or father’s sibling.
A cousin once-removed or of some other degree who is old enough to be from the an older generation
A family friend or friend of a mother or father

In the last category, it is an informal and honorary title.

Note that if a woman is an aunt because she is a sibling to your stepparent or a stepgrandparent, there’s likely no close genetic relation, and the same is likely the case if adoption was somehow involved, meaning your parent and your aunt are adopted siblings to each other. An “aunt” who is actually a cousin of some sort is likely distant enough to legally marry or to have sex with without threats of interference from law enforcement.

And, of course, if someone is an aunt by partnering with or marrying your blood relative, then she likely isn’t a close genetic relative.

Regardless of distance of genetic relation, an aunt and nephew getting together may be considered incestuous in the social sense and, depending on where you are, in the criminal sense as well. The concerns people have about adult intergenerational relationships may also come into play. If you’re at all familiar with this blog, you have seen that we think such stigmas and laws should be done away with.

However, there’s still the concern of cheating. If she is your aunt because she is in a relationship with your uncle or aunt, do they have a negotiated polyamorous relationship? Or if she is your genetic relation and she is partnered, is their relationship polyamorous or not? The same concerns apply to whatever relationship the nephew may be in.

I suppose there are many reasons why this is such a popular search, or, in other words, why aunts are interested in their nephews and nephews are interested in their aunts, in addition to what makes consanguinamory in general appealing to some people. It doesn’t seem to be as taboo as siblings getting together or an adult child and their parent, and perhaps an aunt is almost a maternal or sibling surrogate. As always, I’m talking about adults, or minors close in age to each other. Not all aunts are much older than their nephews. Some are about the same age or even younger. When an aunt is a sibling to a parent.I suppose consanguinamory is more common if the aunt is a parent’s younger sister rather than an older one, simply because that places the aunt closer in age to the nephew. Aunts often provide reassurance, support, love, guidance, and are more likely to flirt with their nephews without the same social disapproval as would be more common if the flirtations came from a parent. So an aunt can play somewhat of a maternal or big-sister role but without the disciplinarian or rivalry aspect. An aunt can take her nephew out for the day without raising concerns. They can be fun!

As for nephews, when an aunt is the father’s sister, a nephew may remind her of good times she had with his father, or wish she’d had.

It is possible that some of the people doing such searches are parents or other family members who either know or suspect something is going on between an aunt and nephew, and if so, they should definitely read this.

It is also of note that if a nephew reached puberty without the aunt being much of a presence in his life before then due, perhaps, to living out of town, then the factors involved in Genetic Sexual Attraction could very well be in play.

Finally, if you’re an aunt or nephew (or uncle or niece) who has some experience of this short (or would like to), you are encouraged to write an email to fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com.

The Lily

We've added a page explaining the Lily symbol. Our friends have had similar pages on their websites for a while.

Coffee may prolong life expectancy

We get comments on the blog. Most we publish, a few we do not. The ones we don't publish have usually violated something stated in the instructions on commenting seen immediately above where you can leave your comment after any specific page or entry.

This one wasn't published because of the f-bomb. It was left after this entry.

This article it's a f---ing masterpiece. It shows how stupid are the moralists and it's arguments. In my opinion, the best place where I put the line it's: Consensual and healthy relations between adult persons.

Thanks!

Then there was one that required a little more editing. It was left after this entry.

Since everyone is sharing their stories I will share mine.

[Goes on to say when he was young a female cousin two years older than him played around together but never had intercourse, and that this went on for a year or three.]

Now I am 22 years old. Sometimes when I think of my cousin, this experience pops into my head. Obviously, when I see her nowadays we never talk about it. Everything is normal between us like it never happened. Nothing is awkward and she is a great cousin.

That's good. That sort of thing isn't seen as problematic as when there is some sort of coercion or pressure involved. It is very common for siblings and cousins close in age to experiment while young.

There were also plenty of comments that we did publish. Here are some.

This one was left after one of our entries about intergenerational relationships.

I just want to thank you for this post. My husband is 24 and I am 58. We are not only a gay intergenerational but interracial. He is from the Philippines and I am from the US. Our families have been nothing but happy and grateful that we are together. Our friends have been supportive. We do get the questioning eye when we are out and about in the world, but so be it. We have started a blog about this so we can connect with others to offer support and get support. We are looking for groups to join as we are a silent minority in the world. Again thanks. David and Gerome

How sweet! Thank you, David and Gerome. I'm glad you have supportive people around you. Wow, building bridges between generations and nationalities! The world could certain use more of that!!!

This comment was left after our most popular entry.

My mother and I started our relationship after my divorce. She had been widowed for four years. Our needs drove us to each other. More than 15 years later, we are still sexually attracted to each other, and we both agree that life is far better now than when we were married. It is true love that bonds us together.

Beautiful.

Someone left this wistful comment after an entry dispelling myths about sibling consanguinamory...

I am 54 yrs old and sooo want to make love with two of my sisters, aged 51 and 50.I have had fantasies about them for many years.

For many, it isn't a youthful phase. It is something that endures, or something they realize as mature adults.

Then after this entry about two men still denied their freedom to marry came this comment...

I met a woman who knew her sons were intimate as teenagers. She dismissed it as boys exploring, as she did with her sister and brother. She never imagined even after both were married that they continued the relationship. She happened to catch them when the family was on a cruise, but she was shocked that her brother and his son were also there. She confronted her brother later that evening , things spiraled and after more than 30 years they resumed the sexual relationship after he revealed that both him his son and her two sons were intimate with her sister and her husband. She lived for a short time with her brother after that. Her brother's ex wife found out and threatened public exposure if they did not stop. She was a prominent judge and her career would have been ruined. She described the relationship as the most emotional love and sex as more intense than any other ever.

Did you follow all of that?

After our Consanguinamory FAQ, someone left this...

I am a 51 year old male in love with my mother. I have had an sexual attraction to hear for most of my life. My greatest regret is not at least asking her years ago. I think there was a time she may have said yes.

Regret can be so painful.

After our entry on whether or not siblings can marry, came this...

I think it's stupid to keep to keep two people apart when they love each other. I think this country is going to hell in a hand basket. My so-called half brother and I are in love. My father has seven kids. Four from the first wife and three from the other. I feel like I have lived a lie all my life. Our mothers have lied to use all these years. Don't they want us to be happy? I don't understand why. We just want to be happy. How can fix this lie? We want to get married. But until our mothers admit they lied we can't marry. How can we fix this. Makes wonder what else our mothers have lied us. We can't afford DNA test. Please help us! I'm tired of hurting inside. Thanks!

If I'm reading that right, they are hoping a DNA test will reveal they aren't half-siblings after all. But it shouldn't matter! They should be free to marry or simply be together without being bullied or made out to be criminals.

Also left after our FAQ and translated from Estonian:

I had a great love with my mother. I was 19 years old when I was having a mother and it lasted almost a year. Then I took my wife and married and moved to the other end of the country. 20 years later, I was at the mother's birthday anniversary in a large restaurant, and then walked home at night through the park forest, where there was one place for foot traffic with seat benches. We were there and reminded us of the times when the desire to have sex was suddenly gone. The crowd did not move at night, and we had a lot of time on the lawn again in our relationship. There is still a great affection and love between us. I do not understand why such a life is considered to be a slaughter, and not understand.

It definitely should not be considered a slaughter, that's for sure.

Another comment after the debunking of sibling consanguinamory myths...

My two sisters and I are in our 50s and get together at least once a week for a night of sex. Our spouses are aware and encourage our closeness.

What great spouses you have!

Here's someone else weighing in on intergenerational relationships...

I have been with my husband since I was 24 and he was 41. That was many years ago I am now almost 41 and he is 57. We are not just from different generations but different races, religion, I was a small town girl he was from a city. I wouldn't trade him for the world. Sure we don't always see eye to eye. But we love each other and I will be blunt. Great sex life.

Good for you! Someone else who is building bridges!

Here's a comment left after this entry on Aunts and Nephews...

This was a great article! I'm always looking for new reads on this topic. I've actually spoken to you Keith through Facebook regarding my situation but I'll explain it for everyone on here.. I'm 23 years old and I'm in a fully committed relationship with my aunt (or possibility could be half aunt) I grew up in the states and never was raised around her nor did we have any contact. She has left her husband for me (she was in an abusive marriage) and that was the main reason to how we bonded so strongly. Although our relationship is hidden some family have a fair idea we believe. Since we talked Keith my mother now knows 100% I confessed to her. She thinks the age difference is not so good as well as the relative issue. (My girlfriend is 41 but does not look it and has a very young spirit) my girlfriend has also opened up about us to her rape counselor which I suggested she do to get advice and get it off her chest. I've now moved to the country she lives in to be with her... we are open in public about being together where we know family members won't be around and we are very happy although the presenting around cousins (her kids) and others is getting to her. I want this as much as she does but we're stuck in this pickle at the moment... just to note another thing... we are Polynesian and in saying that it is known for second, third, fourth degree relatives to be with each other but I don't think it is looked at in a good way. Tried researching it...but my aunt tells me it happens a lot. I would love some advice!

Finally, here's a comment left after the entry about whether or not siblings can marry.

My sister and I are close in age and grew-up together in the same house. We always wanted to marry each other even when we were just kids. I'm now in my mid 60s and have never been married. I couldn't marry the person I always wanted to marry. She's had several bad marriages, one was especially toxic. There was no Internet when we were young so I spent (wasted) quite a bit of time in the library trying to find a state that would let us marry. My sister asked our mother about us getting married and she just brushed it off as silly. Our mother knew about our relationship but she didn't approve. Her main concern was making sure our father never found out. We did come close to living together. We planned to move far away from everybody. We even picked out a house together. For complicated reasons that I didn't fully understand at the time, it didn't happen. After all these years with a heavy heart my advice to those who find themselves in the same situation is to just be together.

What we see over and over again is that people should not be held back from their love and experiences. Let people be together how they mutually agree.

If you've had similar experiences or know of someone who has, or if you're one of these people, you can write me privately at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or you an leave a comment below.

Do These Relationships Work?

A search phrase that once brought someone here on which I want to focus is…

"do incest relationships work"

To answer that, one must describe what means for a relationship to "work."

For some people, a relationship only "works" if it is heterosexual and always monogamous, involves religious and civilly affirmed marriage, produces (or at least raises) children, and lasts until one of the spouses dies.

For me, a relationship "works" if you are, as a whole and excluding artificial negatives like prosecution and discrimination, better off as a result of having been in the relationship. What makes you "better off" is up to you. It could be strictly that you enjoyed this person's company, but it could also be that you had children together, or helped each other grow as people, or made new friends through the other person, or helped each other's careers, or... well, any number of things. A relationship doesn't have to last until death to leave you better off.

A sure sign a relationship isn't working is if one of you is abusing the other, or you're abusing each other.

Over the years, I've been fortunate enough to talk with countless people who've been involved in consanguinamory. A few of them have even been generous enough to be interviewed. For most of the people I've talked with, the relationships have worked. If the consanguinamory is in the past, they have fond memories of the great times that were shared and the emotional growth they had as a result, even the sexual confidence they developed. For many, the relationship continues and provides times of unmatched bliss and intense intimacy, even shared parenting that they have found fulfilling.

So yes, they can and do work.

And, by the way, some of them are heterosexual, always monogamous, produce and raise great people, and last until death, and it is an injustice that they are still discriminated against under the law.

What Genealogists Know

With each previous generation you trace back, the maximum possible number of your genetic ancestors doubles. You can have 2 parents, up to 4 grandparents, up to 8 great-grandparents, up to 16 great-great-grandparents, etc.

On average, there are about four generations per century. For people born in the year 2000, their 8 great-great-grandparents were probably born around 1900. Sometime around 1800 their great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents were born (there may be up to 128 of them). About 29 generations back, or roughly around the time of 1250-1300, the total number of your possible ancestors for that generation equals or exceeds the total population of the planet, which was about 500 million people.

What gives? Well, first of all, if all 500 million of those people were your ancestors, they would also be the ancestors of all of the rest of us, too.

Secondly, you probably don’t have every person alive back then as your ancestor. There wasn’t a lot of interracial or intercultural parenting going on back then. People were more isolated, more people lived in rural countrysides rather than dense urban areas, and people were not nearly as geographically or socially mobile as they are today. It was very common for a person to be born in and to die in the the same village or town, having lived all of her or his life there.

This means that for many, many, many, many generations, there was a lot of what most people would call today “inbreeding.” If your spouse wasn’t your first cousin, your spouse was likely a second or third cousin, or a second cousin-once removed, or even your double-cousin, etc. And as I’ve noted before, even if they weren’t marrying them, people were having children with siblings, aunts or uncles, etc. (Even if not having children together, what do you think went on, given that pubescent teens, like most children, were usually sharing a bedroom?) Not only did these things not destroy humanity, but in Europe, the Renaissance was birthed in these conditions.

Coming back to around 1800, very few people are likely to have 128 great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents, just like very few of those people in 1800 had 128 of them in 1600. Because chances are, some of your recent ancestors were cousins, if not closer. If you marry your first cousin, you have no more than six genetic grandparents between you, instead of eight. If your parents are first cousins, you have six great-grandparents instead of eight.

If “inbreeding” was as detrimental as common misconception says, none of us would be here.

The importance of having the 'alcohol and other drug talk': One mother's plea for others not to wait until it is too late

I can't imagine what it must be like for a parent to get a phone call from a hospital saying that their teen has been brought into the emergency department after drinking too much or having taken an illicit drug of some kind. To get a call like this when your daughter is only 13-years-old must even be more confronting! A few weeks ago I was contacted by a mother (let's call her Maria) who had recently received such a call. She asked whether I would consider sharing her story with other parents in the hope that, in doing so, she could possibly prevent others from going through the nightmare her and her husband had experienced. To protect Maria's daughter and other people involved, we have changed the names and slightly altered some of the events ...

"Our 13-year-old daughter (Sophie) had just started Year 8. She has always had lots of friends, most of whom we know very well. We also know most of their parents, a few of whom we even socialize with at school functions and the like. She had never asked to go to any large parties but she has been regularly going to sleepovers at her friends' homes since primary school. We have seen you present at Sophie's school a couple of times and we do all the things that you recommend - talking to the host parents and taking her and picking her up - so we weren't at all prepared for what happened a couple of weeks ago."

"My husband (Brett) had taken her to a sleepover (hosted by parents we know well) and when he got home we were all prepared for a quiet night. I had texted her at about 9.00pm to say goodnight and promptly received a text back and thought all was fine. Just after 11.00pm I received a call from the mother hosting the sleepover (Jessie) to tell me that she had just called an ambulance for Sophie. At the time all I heard was the word 'ambulance' and everything else became a blur - I remember hearing something about alcohol and vodka but at the time it simply didn't register. Brett took the phone and I remember very little about the conversation he had with her and the subsequent trip to the hospital ... When we finally got to see our little girl, she was in a hospital bed on life support, connected to tubes and a drip and drained of all colour. I have little recollection of the next few hours but I now know that it was 'touch-and-go' for quite some time. Sophie and her friends had managed to get their hands on a bottle of vodka (we believe via an older sister of one of the girls). They had played a drinking game (at 13!) that they had seen on social media (at 13!) and Sophie had drunk almost a third of the bottle in less than 30 minutes!"

"At the time (and in the days after) I was so angry with Jessie and what had happened at her home but since learning what actually happened, I realize that she had done her best. The whole drinking episode lasted less than an hour. The sleepover was actually well organized and monitored (she hadn't just left them to their own devices - she had been 'actively supervising' as you call it). If Jessie hadn't have checked in and found her when she did (some of the other girls actually tried to hide her when she had passed out) and immediately called an ambulance, Sophie may not be with us today."

"Over the past weeks my husband and I have come to realize that we had let our daughter down by simply not having the 'alcohol talk' with her. We had always planned to at some stage but Sophie is not one of the more well-developed and mature girls in her year and we thought we had more time. She had given us no reason for us to believe that things were changing - there were no new friends, no change in behaviour - so we just kept thinking that we would wait. Can I say to anyone reading this, don't wait! Have the alcohol and other drug conversation as early as you can. We don't know whether having that talk would have prevented this terrible thing from happening to our family but it may have done and I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone ..."

As I said to Maria, I have no idea whether having the 'alcohol talk' with her daughter would have stopped her participating in a drinking game at a sleepover, so I don't think that she and her husband should beat themselves up over this, but I do agree that every parent should have this conversation sooner rather than later!

Unfortunately, most parents make the decision to talk to their child about drugs when a crisis situation occurs. This 'crisis' can be as serious as finding out that their child may actually be using drugs or drinking alcohol or as simple as when their child is invited to a teenage party for the first time. Trying to have a discussion about alcohol and other drug use at a time like this is unlikely to be a positive experience for either you or your child. Your teenager will feel uncomfortable at best, and threatened at worst, by this issue being raised at this time. As a result, you are likely to feel frustrated and angry at their response, leading to greater friction and a breakdown in the parent-child relationship.

It is important to remember that it is impossible for any relationship to exist without positive communication. The most important thing to remember when it comes to talking about any difficult subject is that it's not a five-minute 'talk' — it's about building an ongoing dialogue. Of course, there will need to be an opening conversation and that can be difficult but once you've broken the ice it will get easier. As your children grow up, they will need more and more information, so start early and build on the conversation as your teenager matures.

There are lots of opportunities for parents to introduce the issue of alcohol and other drugs to their children. Rather than setting aside a specific time in the day to sit down with your child and raise the topic, thus making the whole experience like a school lesson, parents should look for opportunities in everyday life to talk about the issue. Here are just a couple of tips to consider to help start the conversation or ensure that it goes as smoothly as possible:

Start the conversation in the car. There's no better place to discuss a difficult issue than when it's just you and your teen (or pre-teen) in a car - they can't get away and they don't have to look at you!
Start by talking about their peers and what they're doing. Young people can get very defensive when you ask them about their behaviour but they're often more than happy to talk about others. It can even be easier if you talk about classmates and not their friendship group - they're much more likely to tell you about those kids that they don't particularly like and what they think about their behaviour
Use what you see in the media to start the conversation. Unlike the talk in the car, this is best done in a family context. News stories, movies and TV programs, even popular music can contain alcohol and other drug themes – asking a simple question about something you've just seen or heard while watching TV and getting their views on it can plant a seed that you can use at a later date
Use your own alcohol use as a conversation starter. If you drink wine with the family meal or you have a brown paper bag with a couple of bottles in it under your arm when you go out socialising, take the opportunity at that time to quickly discuss the role alcohol plays in your life and the rules you follow when you drink, e.g., you never drink and drive. Ask them what rules do they think they will have when they get older and they choose to drink. What rules do they think would be important?
Don't try to cover everything in one talk. The first couple of chats (possibly even grunts from their end!) may just be about trying to find out what they're thinking about the issue and their level of exposure. Setting rules and boundaries at this time could be problematic. You should certainly clarify your expectations around their behaviour in this area if it is appropriate to do so, but try to discuss your values in a more general sense rather than explicitly laying down rules at this time

You may not believe you have much of an influence over your teenager but your children are going to learn an awful lot about your attitudes and beliefs towards alcohol and drug use from these type of conversations. They may not always be easy but they'll be well worth the effort! One more thing to remember is that all the starter conversations (those mentioned above) should be relatively low-key and informal if they are to be successful, however, when it comes down to the 'let's talk about rules' discussion, both parents should be there, if at all possible, and it should be conducted in a reasonably formal manner (we're not talking 'judge and jury' here but sitting down together, no distractions or other children present). Of course this isn't always easy, particularly in a split family, but if it can be done it illustrates a united front and if there are any negotiations that are to be made, everybody is on the same page.

Maria and I have had a couple of conversations about what she believes she and her husband could or should have said to Sophie if they had actually had the 'talk'. She admits that the issue of underage drinking had never been raised (as she said, she didn't believe there was any need to - there were no obvious warning signs that she may be even considering experimenting) and acknowledges a simple discussion about the role alcohol played in their family would have been useful. Talking about your values and the use and misuse of alcohol, as well as your expectations about how they will deal with alcohol in the future is important. The one thing, however, that she really regrets raising with Sophie is 'outs' - helping her to develop simple strategies should she find herself in a situation where she feels pressured to take part in potentially risky activities.

One word of warning though …. if your child does not wish to enter the conversation for whatever reason, do not push. Talking about difficult subjects like this can be embarrassing for an adolescent and any effort to make them can actually be counterproductive. Do and say what you can and then back off, making sure you leave the door open for them to come to you should they ever wish to discuss the issue and move on. At some point another opportunity will arise (even if unfortunately it ends up being due to a crisis of some kind), take a step back and wait for another opportunity to arise when you are able to start a positive dialogue. It will happen!

Lassi is a traditional North-Indian thirst-quencher and energy booster. It is basically yogurt/buttermilk that has been churned and sweetened with sugar. Sometimes it is flavored with cardamom. It is an age old drink made in all homes to beat the heat. Everything is natural with this drink: it is freshly made and there are only 2-4 ingredients: yogurt/buttermilk, sugar, water and may be cardamom.

You will find this in most Indian restaurants. One popular version of Lassi is mango lassi when it is whipped with fresh mango pulp. I love this version more than the plain. During mango season, I love to make this and relish it instead of the store-bought ones. If the mango is sweet and the yogurt is not sour, you don't need to add any sugar. If you wish you can add a dash of honey. I like to use yogurt and mango pulp in the ratio of 1:1 . You can vary it based on your individual preference. You can substitute other fruits instead of mango. There you have the recipe! It is that simple and easy! You can use it for breakfast, mid-day meal or to wake you up from the afternoon slump.

Do give this a try. You will love it. I just blend it in my magic bullet in the morning and take it with me to work.

Servings: 2

Prep time: 5-8 minsCook time: 0 minsTotal time: 5-8 mins

Ingredients:

Ripe Mango pulp :2 cups ( from 1- medium sized mango)

Plain yogurt/curd: 2 cups

Honey : 1 tbsp ( you can use sugar too)

Cardamom: seeds from 1 pod

Ice: 1 cup

Method:

Add all the above ingredients to a blender. Pulse and blend until well mixed , around 1 minute.

Serve chilled. Can add more ice if needed.

Enjoy!

I am bringing this delicious Lassi to Fiesta Friday so that all our friends can cool down in this heat!

Cooking made easy:

If the yogurt/curd is sour, substitute 50%of it with milk.

Depending on the desired thickness you can add water or milk.

If you are vegan use almond, coconut or soy milk instead of yogurt.

Tip for healthy living:

During summer, to combat the heat we tend to drink more than eat. The sad part however is that we end up drinking more calories than when we would have eaten. The reason being all the juices, smoothies and beverages that we buy and consume. Either drink water to quench thirst or make the juices freshly at home so that you know exactly how much sugar you are adding.

Food for thought:

Self-preservation is the first law of nature. Samuel Butler

Devasthana Saaru/ Vattunu saaru ( Temple Rasam with freshly ground spices)

We Mangalorean Konkanis swear by our temple rasam or Devasthana Saaru as we call it. "Devasthan" means "temple" in English and "Saaru" is the Konkani word for rasam. What is rasam?? Rasam is a spicy, tangy soup that is made with tomatoes and spices. It is usually served as an accompaniment to rice the same way dal is served with rice. People love to drink it too. It is also purported to be the perfect remedy for cough and cold. It not only clears your sinuses but also rekindles your appetite.

So why is Devasthana Saaru so special?? It is because it is almost impossible to recreate the taste of it at home. This rasam is usually served with food at events in the temple. Why is food served at the temple? Well, like anywhere else in the world, food is the greatest motivator. Therefore during big religious events/activities in the temple, lunch/dinner is served afterwards. It also feeds many hungry people. Coming back to the rasam, this particular rasam is always made by freshly roasting and grinding the spices and then making it. A powdered version is never used. That is why this rasam is also called "Vattunu Saaru "which translates to "Ground rasam" or "Arachi rasam" as South Indians call it. The aroma and flavor of this rasam both as it is made and when it is consumed is unlike any other! You have to make it to believe it!

For the longest I used to think that the task of making it was very tedious. But in reality it is not. It is actually quite easy and uses ingredients normally present in your kitchen. Do try it.. You will never buy rasam powder again! This recipe has been kindly shared by my very talented cousin Karuna who is also an excellent cook!