We Get Letters

We get comments on the blog. Most we publish, a few we do not. The ones we don't publish have usually violated something stated in the instructions on commenting seen immediately above where you can leave your comment after any specific page or entry.

This one wasn't published because of the f-bomb. It was left after this entry.

This article it's a f---ing masterpiece. It shows how stupid are the moralists and it's arguments. In my opinion, the best place where I put the line it's: Consensual and healthy relations between adult persons.

Thanks!

Then there was one that required a little more editing. It was left after this entry.

Since everyone is sharing their stories I will share mine.

[Goes on to say when he was young a female cousin two years older than him played around together but never had intercourse, and that this went on for a year or three.]

Now I am 22 years old. Sometimes when I think of my cousin, this experience pops into my head. Obviously, when I see her nowadays we never talk about it. Everything is normal between us like it never happened. Nothing is awkward and she is a great cousin.

That's good. That sort of thing isn't seen as problematic as when there is some sort of coercion or pressure involved. It is very common for siblings and cousins close in age to experiment while young.

There were also plenty of comments that we did publish. Here are some.


This one was left after one of our entries about intergenerational relationships.

I just want to thank you for this post. My husband is 24 and I am 58. We are not only a gay intergenerational but interracial. He is from the Philippines and I am from the US. Our families have been nothing but happy and grateful that we are together. Our friends have been supportive. We do get the questioning eye when we are out and about in the world, but so be it. We have started a blog about this so we can connect with others to offer support and get support. We are looking for groups to join as we are a silent minority in the world. Again thanks. David and Gerome

How sweet! Thank you, David and Gerome. I'm glad you have supportive people around you. Wow, building bridges between generations and nationalities! The world could certain use more of that!!!

This comment was left after our most popular entry.

My mother and I started our relationship after my divorce. She had been widowed for four years. Our needs drove us to each other. More than 15 years later, we are still sexually attracted to each other, and we both agree that life is far better now than when we were married. It is true love that bonds us together.

Beautiful.

Someone left this wistful comment after an entry dispelling myths about sibling consanguinamory...

I am 54 yrs old and sooo want to make love with two of my sisters, aged 51 and 50.I have had fantasies about them for many years.

For many, it isn't a youthful phase. It is something that endures, or something they realize as mature adults.

Then after this entry about two men still denied their freedom to marry came this comment...

I met a woman who knew her sons were intimate as teenagers. She dismissed it as boys exploring, as she did with her sister and brother. She never imagined even after both were married that they continued the relationship. She happened to catch them when the family was on a cruise, but she was shocked that her brother and his son were also there. She confronted her brother later that evening , things spiraled and after more than 30 years they resumed the sexual relationship after he revealed that both him his son and her two sons were intimate with her sister and her husband. She lived for a short time with her brother after that. Her brother's ex wife found out and threatened public exposure if they did not stop. She was a prominent judge and her career would have been ruined. She described the relationship as the most emotional love and sex as more intense than any other ever.

Did  you follow all of that?

After our Consanguinamory FAQ, someone left this...

I am a 51 year old male in love with my mother. I have had an sexual attraction to hear for most of my life. My greatest regret is not at least asking her years ago. I think there was a time she may have said yes.

Regret can be so painful.

After our entry on whether or not siblings can marry, came this...

I think it's stupid to keep to keep two people apart when they love each other. I think this country is going to hell in a hand basket. My so-called half brother and I are in love. My father has seven kids. Four from the first wife and three from the other. I feel like I have lived a lie all my life. Our mothers have lied to use all these years. Don't they want us to be happy? I don't understand why. We just want to be happy. How can fix this lie? We want to get married. But until our mothers admit they lied we can't marry. How can we fix this. Makes wonder what else our mothers have lied us. We can't afford DNA test. Please help us! I'm tired of hurting inside. Thanks!

If I'm reading that right, they are hoping a DNA test will reveal they aren't half-siblings after all. But it shouldn't matter! They should be free to marry or simply be together without being bullied or made out to be criminals.

Also left after our FAQ and translated from Estonian:

I had a great love with my mother. I was 19 years old when I was having a mother and it lasted almost a year. Then I took my wife and married and moved to the other end of the country. 20 years later, I was at the mother's birthday anniversary in a large restaurant, and then walked home at night through the park forest, where there was one place for foot traffic with seat benches. We were there and reminded us of the times when the desire to have sex was suddenly gone. The crowd did not move at night, and we had a lot of time on the lawn again in our relationship. There is still a great affection and love between us. I do not understand why such a life is considered to be a slaughter, and not understand.

It definitely should not be considered a slaughter, that's for sure.

Another comment after the debunking of sibling consanguinamory myths...

My two sisters and I are in our 50s and get together at least once a week for a night of sex. Our spouses are aware and encourage our closeness.

What great spouses you have!

Here's  someone else weighing in on intergenerational relationships...

I have been with my husband since I was 24 and he was 41. That was many years ago I am now almost 41 and he is 57. We are not just from different generations but different races, religion, I was a small town girl he was from a city. I wouldn't trade him for the world. Sure we don't always see eye to eye. But we love each other and I will be blunt. Great sex life.

Good for you! Someone else who is building bridges!

Here's a comment left after this entry on Aunts and Nephews...

This was a great article! I'm always looking for new reads on this topic. I've actually spoken to you Keith through Facebook regarding my situation but I'll explain it for everyone on here.. I'm 23 years old and I'm in a fully committed relationship with my aunt (or possibility could be half aunt) I grew up in the states and never was raised around her nor did we have any contact. She has left her husband for me (she was in an abusive marriage) and that was the main reason to how we bonded so strongly. Although our relationship is hidden some family have a fair idea we believe. Since we talked Keith my mother now knows 100% I confessed to her. She thinks the age difference is not so good as well as the relative issue. (My girlfriend is 41 but does not look it and has a very young spirit) my girlfriend has also opened up about us to her rape counselor which I suggested she do to get advice and get it off her chest. I've now moved to the country she lives in to be with her... we are open in public about being together where we know family members won't be around and we are very happy although the presenting around cousins (her kids) and others is getting to her. I want this as much as she does but we're stuck in this pickle at the moment... just to note another thing... we are Polynesian and in saying that it is known for second, third, fourth degree relatives to be with each other but I don't think it is looked at in a good way. Tried researching it...but my aunt tells me it happens a lot. I would love some advice!

Finally, here's a comment left after the entry about whether or not siblings can marry.

My sister and I are close in age and grew-up together in the same house. We always wanted to marry each other even when we were just kids. I'm now in my mid 60s and have never been married. I couldn't marry the person I always wanted to marry. She's had several bad marriages, one was especially toxic. There was no Internet when we were young so I spent (wasted) quite a bit of time in the library trying to find a state that would let us marry. My sister asked our mother about us getting married and she just brushed it off as silly. Our mother knew about our relationship but she didn't approve. Her main concern was making sure our father never found out. We did come close to living together. We planned to move far away from everybody. We even picked out a house together. For complicated reasons that I didn't fully understand at the time, it didn't happen. After all these years with a heavy heart my advice to those who find themselves in the same situation is to just be together.

What we see over and over again is that people should not be held back from their love and experiences. Let people be together how they mutually agree.

If you've had similar experiences or know of someone who has, or if you're one of these people, you can write me privately at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com or you an leave a comment below.