Raising the drinking age to 21: Is it likely to ever happen?

While I was overseas on business last week an Australian study was published that apparently received a great deal of media attention. Researchers from UNSW followed young people from 13 to 30 and found that "early patterns of drinking are not limited to adolescence but rather persist into adulthood and are associated with a range of alcohol-related problems." This study provides one more important piece of the puzzle when it comes to helping parents make decisions around their child and alcohol. We've long known the dangers associated with 'binge drinking' (drinking to get drunk) and parents are now far more aware of the importance of delaying their child's first drink of alcohol for as long as possible (i.e., delay, delay, delay), but this research has found that how often a teen drinks is also a predictor of possible future problems.

No longer can a parent say "Well, he only has a couple of beers when he goes to a party on a Saturday night. He never gets drunk" believing that this could be promoting long-term 'responsible drinking'. If a teen is drinking every weekend, even a small amount, that could be just as problematic as going out once in a while and getting smashed when it comes to later-life problem drinking. Put simply, alcohol and teens don't go together no matter how you look at it!

As I said, I was overseas when this research hit the media but I did hear that it got quite a run and questions were raised about what could be done about limiting the harm associated with alcohol as far as young people are concerned. Not surprisingly, the issue of raising the legal drinking age from 18 to 21 was once again brought up as a possible solution and, according to some people who have contacted me since, it became the issue of the day across breakfast television, radio talkback programs and social media. Researchers and public health advocates are asked to comment on the topic and discuss the evidence around delaying alcohol consumption and the subsequent response from Mr and Mrs Normal from the suburbs is usually varied - some horrified by the thought (usually harping on about the 'nanny state' and the like) and others keen for governments to make the change. These polarised views are what breakfast television and radio love ... but when it really comes down to it, is a change to the legal drinking age ever going to really happen?

My answer is always the same - absolutely not! So if it's never going to happen, why do we continue to waste our time even talking about it?

Let's make something perfectly clear here, if we actually looked at the evidence there is no way that we would allow anyone to drink until at least 21, and for young men it would most probably be 25 years of age before we considered drinking alcohol to be low risk. This is due to the increasing evidence we now have around alcohol and the developing brain. The interesting thing is that at a time when we know more about the harms and that we should definitely delay drinking for as long as possible, many parents are actually introducing their children to alcohol at a younger and younger age.

This is essentially why the drinking age argument keeps popping up - it keeps the issue of underage drinking in the public consciousness and highlights the risks associated with adolescent drinking

Why then do I think we'll never see the legal drinking age rise? Well, firstly and most importantly, most people simply don't support the idea (according to the latest NDSHS report the number of Australians supporting 'raising the legal drinking age' actually decreased from 48% to 42%). Not only do most Australians not support the idea, but growing numbers do not regard it as a viable option. Parents may be outraged at seeing young teens drinking but for many of them, when it comes to their own children, they don't necessarily want them to drink but often see it as 'just something all teens do'. The old – "I did it, there's nothing wrong with me!" mentality. Many Australian parents had their first drink before they were 'legal' and most do not believe that drinking at that time caused them great harm. If you can't get parental support for a legal drinking age of 18, how in heavens do you hope to get community support for 21? I just don't think it will ever happen unless we see a major shift in community attitudes and that's not going to happen anytime soon!

Secondly, we have to remember why the drinking age was lowered to 18 in the first place. Although some Australian jurisdictions already had 18 years as the legal drinking age during the Vietnam War, there were other states that had different laws around alcohol. This meant that some young Australians who died for their country during that war were actually unable to drink alcohol, a fact that many found unacceptable (a situation that the US is now attempting to deal with) and the law was subsequently changed.

The debate around raising the legal drinking age will continue (politicians love throwing a media release out about the topic when they want to divert attention away from something else that they don't want to talk about - they do the same when they let slip something about legalizing cannabis or the like!). Certainly we need to keep talking about the risks associated with adolescent drinking and there have been a couple of amazing pieces of Australian research released this year that have provided valuable information helping parents to make far more informed decisions when it comes to their teen and alcohol. We need to be careful, however, that we tread carefully ... Claims of 'wowserism' and the 'nanny state' are getting louder and louder. Even though we are seeing decreasing support for measures such as raising the legal drinking age, I still believe we have the bulk of the community on our side at the moment, push too hard though and we'll lose them!   

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'Mum, I can't lie – I did have a couple of sips at the party …": When does 'honesty' become 'manipulation'?

During the week I met a Mum and Dad who asked my advice on how they should deal with their 15-year-old son who had been honest about drinking alcohol at a party. Their question went something like this …

We have made our rules about underage drinking pretty clear and our son knows that we do not want him to drink alcohol at this time in his life. He has been going to parties more frequently this year and we have always trusted him to do the 'right thing' - he is a great kid! A couple of weeks ago after we picked him up from one of these parties he turned around and told us that he wanted to be honest with us and said that he had had a couple of sips of one of his friend's beers during the night. Whether or not he had more than that we don't know - he certainly didn't appear to be intoxicated on the night. We then found ourselves in a really difficult situation - he had broken one of our basic rules about parties, i.e., he was not to drink alcohol. On the other hand, we were proud of him for making the decision to be honest about what he had done. We're both concerned that if we punish him for telling us that he broke the rules (because that's what we would be doing, as we would never have known that he had the few sips he said he had), do we run the risk of stopping him from being honest again in the future, i.e., would he start drinking behind our backs? It seems like we're asking a lot but we want him to continue to be honest but also not break our rules. What should we do?

As I said to the parents at the time, I've had this question (or at least a version of it) asked many times before … Now, only you know your teen and where he or she is at in terms of development and only you know the type of relationship you have with them, but from where I'm sitting, this type of 'honesty' is classic manipulation.

You've really got to ask yourself why would a young person ever make a decision to divulge this type of information? As the parents said, they would never have known that their son had drunk alcohol that night, so why would he have told them what had gone down? Without a doubt there would be some young people who are intrinsically honest and would find it extremely difficult to break a family rule and 'live with the lie', but when it comes to 15-year-old young men and women I can't imagine that's what this is likely to be about …

Think about it, this young man wants to drink alcohol at parties (because as his Mum told me, he believes 'everyone else does') - he's asked his parents and they have made it clear they are not going to support that. To 'test the waters' he drinks a little bit and then owns up to what he has done. He makes it clear that he doesn't want to lie to them, and as a result, he almost guarantees avoiding getting into trouble for breaking one of his family's fundamental rules around parties. If he successfully gets away with this, he has learned that as long as he admits to breaking the rules (i.e., he is 'honest' about what he does), there is a good chance that he will be able to do it again and again - each time pushing the boundaries just a little further … Now it is true that his thought processes may not be as calculating as this, but I can almost guarantee that at some point when he asks for his parents to give him alcohol to take to a party and they refuse (the point where many parents will draw the line and say that's not happening), then he will fire back with something like "Well, if you don't give it to me, I'll get it from somewhere else and go and drink in a park!" (moving from apparent honesty to a threat) …

I know that many people will not agree with me here and that I appear overly cynical (and even quite jaded!) but I have met too many parents over the years who have fallen for this line and then come to regret their decision down the line.

Only you can make a decision about how to deal with a situation like this but I would advise that you tread very carefully when it comes to rewarding honesty over that of applying consequences for breaking rules, particularly in relation to drinking and parties. I don't know what it is about alcohol but it is really quite a 'blindspot' for many parents. I'm not too sure whether it is because it is their drug of choice or what but for some reason alcohol is not always dealt with in the same way other teen issues are … I know these are fairly extreme examples but consider this … If your daughter came back from a shopping centre and declared that she couldn't lie to you and that she had actually been shoplifting and had stolen a couple of small items from a store, I'm sure you wouldn't be proud of her for being honest with you! If your son all of a sudden decided he needed to tell you the truth about his cyberbullying behaviour, once again you would deal with what went down, not be thrilled that he had shared details of his 'crime'! If they are telling you what they did it is usually because they fear that they may get found out, what other reason would there be for a confession? Of course, there may be some young people who simply get an attack of the 'guilts' and want to own up to bad behaviour or some kind of indiscretion but that isn't the norm or, I believe, likely in the case above. If you think I'm being a little too harsh here, you don't just have to take my word for it …

Since speaking to these parents I have shared their story with a number of students (both male and female) at the schools I have visited during the rest of the week and asked their opinion on why they thought this young man would have admitted to the 'couple of sips' and could there be any ulterior motives behind his confession? Without exception the first question I was asked by these students was "Could the parents have told that he had been drinking?" and when I told them that I didn't think they could they were all extremely suspicious … Here are a couple of responses that I thought were particularly interesting:

• "He wanted to see how far he could push his parents and see if being honest was going to stop him getting into trouble. Lots of my friends from strict families told their parents they wanted to be honest and not go behind their back in an effort to be able to get them to give them alcohol to take to parties. Sometimes it worked …" (Year 11 female)
• "You're only honest like that if you think you may get caught … I think he must have something else to hide or he's using telling the truth to get something else!" (Year 11 male)
• "I never lie to my parents but I don't tell them everything! It would be very unusual for a guy to admit to drinking if he wasn't going to get caught. I think he worked out that this would be a good way of breaking the rules and not getting into real trouble …"  (Year 10, male)
• "You want your parents to trust you and you don't want to lie to them but sometimes you have to. I try to be as honest as I can with my Dad - I know that if I am honest about what I do (or as honest as I can be up to a point), I'm more likely to get what I want." (Year 11 female)

Honesty is incredibly important and, of course, you want your teen to tell you the truth. However, if a rule is broken, there needs to be a consequence - hopefully one that you have worked out beforehand, i.e., if you do this, then that will happen … Now, if all of a sudden you ignore the fact that your child broke one of your rules simply because they have been honest about their indiscretion, you are setting yourself up for an awful lot of problems in the future … 

So what did I recommend these parents should do? Firstly, they need to make it very clear to their son that they are proud of his decision to be honest with them about what he had done. Tell him that they always want him to be honest and feel that he can go to them at any time and tell them the truth about anything and everything. It doesn't matter what he does, they will always love him. That said, he broke a rule and, as a result, there has to be consequence. If a consequence had already been decided on (e.g., if he was caught drinking at a party then he wouldn't be allowed to go to the next one he was invited to), then that should be applied. If you believe the honesty warrants the consequence be modified slightly, that's fine but don't drop it altogether. If one had not been already agreed upon, ask the teen what he believes should happen. In my experience, young people often come up with great consequences - usually both fair and age-appropriate. Remember, this is not a 'death by hanging' offence - he doesn't need to be grounded for a month! Consequences need to be 'short and sharp' - drag them out and your child is going to completely forget what they did and only end up resenting you ... 

Do I believe that this course of action by the parents will lead to a subsequent tsunami of lies and deceit? Of course not! If they've made it clear that they don't support underage drinking and there will be consequences if he gets caught breaking the family rules, research suggests that he's less likely to drink and if he does, he will drink less. But he's 15 and if he wants to drink alcohol he is going to find a way to do just that. I could be wrong (remember, I don't know the young man and his relationship with his parents) but I believe he was most probably seeing how far he could get away with pushing the boundaries - if that is the case, it's important to ensure that he is made aware that simply being 'honest' is not going to mean that important family rules and values can be undermined. 

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Summer Salad

As it is getting warmer outside, the desire to eat food that is light, refreshing encourages. One does not wish to slave in front of a stove when it is hot outside ( well, I never slave in front of the stove anyways!) Quite often you are not even hungry! I tend to make and eat more salads during summer. This is also excellent for BBQs and picnics. It’s makes for a perfect lunch. The kids also like it. You can use any kind of dressing with this one. I like to use a basic vinaigrette. Sometimes I will use a raspberry vinaigrette. My husband likes to pair it with creamy dressing such as Ranch or poppy seed dressing. Either ways this is a salad that is simple and quick to make and something everyone can enjoy! I have made it 2 different ways: with fresh mozzarella cheese and watermelon and without! 

Servings: 5-6

Prep time: 15 minsCook time: 0Total time: 15-20 mins 

Ingredients: 

Romaine lettuce: 1/2 head 

Sweet peppers: 3-4 

Persian cucumbers: 2-3, sliced thin

Cherry/grape tomatoes: 8-10 sliced into halves

Watermelon cubes: 1 cup

Bite-sized mozzarella cubes: 1 cup

Dressing of your choice on the side.

Method: 

Wash, clean and chop the lettuce into bite sized pieces. Add this to a bowl. 

Slice the peppers thinly. Add to the bowl. 

Add the tomato halves and the cucumber slices. 

Top it with watermelon cubes and mozzarella cubes. 

Serve the dressing on side. 

Once served into individual plates/bowls, just  before eating, add the desired amount of dressing. 

Mix and eat. 

Enjoy! 

Cooking made easy:

You can add sliced red or white onion, craisins, walnuts and or sunflower seeds if you wish. 

Tip for healthy living:

Use as less dressing as possible with your salad. Using a low fat dressing like a vinaigrette is much healthier than a high fat dressing like ranch or Cesar.

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Vodka, vodka, vodka: Why is it so popular amongst teens and why is it so problematic?

The death earlier this week of a 15-year-old Sydney girl from apparent alcohol poisoning attracted a great deal of media attention across the country. According to media reports she had been drinking alone and returned a blood alcohol reading of 0.4 with the NSW Police stating that the girl "sourced an alcoholic drink recipe from an online site, then put the information to the test." 

Although there has been a great deal of speculation about what actually happened, as the police have made it clear that "the investigation is in its infancy" and we really won't know exactly what went down until the post mortem examination takes place sometime this week. A relative was quoted as saying that the young woman had consumed a bottle of vodka and early reports spoke about police seizing energy drinks, with lollies added to the apparent list of things that could possibly have been used in later stories. 

Until we know what actually happened I think we have to be careful about how we use this story when communicating messages to young people … Certainly NSW Police have already used the death to highlight the dangers of young people accessing and then using online recipes for alcoholic cocktails. Type 'getting drunk faster' into YouTube's search engine and you will be provided with 665,000 results - some of which are absolutely terrifying! This is a great message and a timely reminder for parents to be aware of the type of information that young people are able to access online but I hope we don't lose sight of the fact that, based on the reports so far, this young woman apparently drank a lot of alcohol and we must never forget that alcohol poisoning kills a number of teens every year ...

Regular readers of my blog would know that I have been involved in a number of alcohol-related deaths over the years. Sadly, most of these are usually are young women around the age of 15 and almost all of them have involved vodka. Very few of these deaths received any media attention, with the parents involved understandably reluctant to come forward and speak about their loss. Now I need to be very clear that we do not know whether this girl had consumed vodka or not but with a blood alcohol reading as high as has been reported it is highly likely that she would have been drinking spirits and, without a doubt, vodka is the drink of choice for young women who want to get drunk. If we do end up finding that vodka was in the mix, I just hope that the media doesn't become obsessed with the so-called 'drug cocktail' and focus on the mix of energy drinks and lollies … of course, accessing 'weird and wacky' recipes online is dangerous but so is drinking a bottle of vodka, no matter what else is or isn't added to it!

Many parents are totally unaware of the popularity of vodka until they hold a teenage party and start the big 'clean-up' the next morning, only to find empty bottles of the stuff littering their garden or hidden in various nooks and crannies around the place. So many Mums and Dads have told me that they didn't really grasp the extent of vodka consumption amongst young people until their son's or daughter's 18th birthday when suddenly the partygoers' drinking behaviour was out in the open. But in reality, it is as far back as Year 10 where we actually start to see consumption of this product become a real issue. Some of the early drinkers who were experimenting in Year 9 have now been messing around with pre-mixed drinks for a while and start to work out that if they want to get drunk quickly (at a cheaper cost), they need to dump the 'lolly water' and buy a bottle of spirits, with vodka usually being the drink of choice.

So why is it vodka that enjoys this popularity, particularly amongst young women? Some of the reasons include the following:

• it is seen as a 'cool' drink (mainly due to the advertising promoting this product and its target audience). Vodka is now marketed to a much younger age group than it was in the past. Where once spirit advertising targeted older men, drinks such as vodka are now closely associated with young women, the youth nightlife scene and partying
• they believe it to be free of calories (completely untrue). Like most alcohol, vodka does not contain any fat – but it does have calories, with a 'shot' of vodka containing just under 100. A bottle of vodka has approximately 2200 calories – more than a woman's total allowance per day, not including the mixer!
• it is undetectable (where they get this idea is beyond me - have they ever smelt a vodka drinker's breath?). The taste of many vodka brands can be more easily masked by mixers, like orange juice, than other spirits but it certainly does have a smell and can be easily detected on a young person's breath
• it is less likely to cause a hangover (unfortunately, true to some extent!). One cause of a hangover is the presence of 'congeners' and these are what makes alcohol dark, i.e., the more congeners, the darker the alcohol, the greater the headache the next day. Of course, over consumption of any alcohol product is going to lead to feeling unwell the morning after but vodka has less congeners than most other alcoholic drinks

When I talk about vodka to a group of Year 10s and tell them that if they are sharing a bottle between three of them they are drinking the equivalent of 22 glasses of beer you can literally see jaws dropping to the ground! They have no idea how much alcohol they are actually consuming. For many of those who are drinking in Year 10, particularly the girls, their lives revolve around a vodka bottle on a Saturday night. Three or four young women can drink a bottle of vodka in about 90 minutes and still be walking and talking (remember they don't experience the 'depressant' effects of alcohol like adults with fully-developed brains). As a result, many young people simply have no idea what they are doing to themselves when they consume these products and the risks involved with drinking large quantities when they are so young!

Interestingly, by Year 11 the 'hardcore' male drinkers have usually moved away from vodka. It doesn't take them very long to progress to dark spirits, with bourbon, whiskey and rum being the more likely drinks consumed by this age group.

The problem is that spirits are so much more dangerous than other alcoholic drinks, particularly in relation to the following:

• Spirits or premixed spirits enable you to drink more alcohol, much more quickly when compared to other drinks. As already stated, if a group of young people share a bottle of spirits between them in a session they are drinking the equivalent of up to 22 glasses of full strength beer, 22 cans of mid-strength beer, more than 2 litres of a cask of red wine, or more than three bottles of champagne. For many young people, if they tried to drink this amount of wine or beer they would find it difficult to do so quickly - unlike spirits they are 'self-limiting' to some extent, i.e., you drink, you bloat, you vomit!
• Due to the high alcohol content, it takes a comparatively small amount of spirits to cause alcohol poisoning or overdose. It is important to remember that it takes much less vodka, rum or whisky to get drunk than beer or wine. It would only take minutes to drink two shots of vodka (60mls), whereas for most people it would take much longer to drink beer containing the equivalent amount of alcohol (two 285ml glasses – 570mls), thus greatly increasing the risk of poisoning or overdose

It can be so depressing sometimes speaking to a Year 10 group and see those two or three small groups of 'party people' who are so obviously messing around with vodka on a weekly basis. They are usually totally unaware of how much they are actually drinking when they share a bottle of spirits and often don't feel any significant after effects the morning after. Sadly, when things do wrong with vodka (or any other spirit), they go terribly wrong. Drinking a bottle of vodka (or bourbon or any other spirit) is potentially life threatening, whether you're a teenager or an adult. If it doesn't kill you as a result of alcohol poisoning, the possibility of major damage to the liver and the rest of your body over time is very real!  

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Simple Spring Salad

As it is getting warmer outside, the desire to eat food that is light, refreshing encourages. One does not wish to slave in front of a stove when it is hot outside ( well, I never slave in front of the stove anyways!) Quite often you are not even hungry! I tend to make and eat more salads during summer. This is also excellent for BBQs and picnics. It’s makes for a perfect lunch. The kids also like it. You can use any kind of dressing with this one. I like to use a basic vinaigrette. Sometimes I will use a raspberry vinaigrette. My husband likes to pair it with creamy dressing such as Ranch or poppy seed dressing. Either ways this is a salad that is simple and quick to make and something everyone can enjoy! I have made it 2 different ways: with fresh mozzarella cheese and watermelon and without! 

Servings: 5-6

Prep time: 15 minsCook time: 0Total time: 15-20 mins 

Ingredients: 

Romaine lettuce: 1/2 head 

Sweet peppers: 3-4 

Persian cucumbers: 2-3, sliced thin

Cherry/grape tomatoes: 8-10 sliced into halves

Dressing of your choice on the side.

Method: 

Wash, clean and chop the lettuce into bite sized pieces. Add this to a bowl. 

Slice the peppers thinly. Add to the bowl. 

Add the tomato halves and the cucumber slices. 

Serve the dressing on side. 

Once served into individual plates/bowls, just  before eating, add the desired amount of dressing. 

Mix and eat. 

Enjoy! 

Cooking made easy:

You can add sliced red or white onion, craisins, walnuts and or sunflower seeds if you wish. 

Tip for healthy living:

Use as less dressing as possible with your salad. Using a low fat dressing like a vinaigrette is much healthier than a high fat dressing like ranch or cesar.

Read More »

Looking after a drunk person: How can we ensure the person providing the care is safe?

At some point during their teens most young people, regardless of whether they drink themselves or not, will have to look after a drunk friend, family member or someone they have come across at a party or gathering. It is therefore incredibly important to make sure we arm them with good quality information about alcohol and its effects, as well as providing them with practical strategies that will enable them to do this effectively. Making sure the drunk person is safe - i.e., that they don't lose consciousness or choke on their own vomit - is incredibly important but it is also just important to make sure that the person providing the care is also safe.

Looking after a drunk person, whether they are a friend or not, is potentially risky. Drunk people can be unpredictable and, of course, aggressive behaviour is a very real risk. So many things can go wrong and over the years I have seen some shocking injuries inflicted by drunk people on friends. Some of these include the following:

•  a 15-year-old girl permanently scarred when a drunk friend's ring caught her eyelid as she was trying to put her into a safe position
•  a number of both young men and women who have had their earrings or nose-rings yanked out, tearing their lobe or nostril, while trying to look after an intoxicated mate. In almost all of these cases, the drunk friend was not violent or overly aggressive, it was simply a sudden arm or hand movement attempting to push their friend away that resulted in the injury
• a 17-year-old young man who was pushed away by his best friend who was trying to help him, causing him to fall backwards and hit his head, resulting in a brain-related injury

As I say to young people in my presentations, of course it is important to look after your drunk friend and try to keep them safe but knowing when it is time to hand that person over to someone else, or at least get other people to help you is vital. If a drunk person starts to fight you in any way (and that does not necessarily mean clenching their fists and trying to punch you - simply resisting you or 'swatting' you away can be potentially dangerous), you need to get someone else to assist you to deal with the situation. 

It is also important to acknowledge that the majority of injuries I have seen have not been inflicted by young men. Talk to teens and they will tell you that they are likely to be more cautious looking after drunk males, particularly those who are a little larger. That's not a bad thing to keep at the back of your mind. One careless arm movement, particularly by those bigger blokes affected by alcohol (although a smaller one can do just as much damage), could cause a great deal of damage to someone attempting to look after them - at the very least a black eye or a bloody nose, at worse, potential brain damage (as in the case above) or even death. Where most of the really horrific injuries have come from, however, is the jewellery worn by young women, particularly rings (although bracelets can also be problematic). As well as possibly causing cuts and scratches across the face of the person looking after their drunk friend, these items can also can cause potentially devastating injuries to their eyes or get caught in facial jewellery (as discussed above). Fingernails can also cause injuries, admittedly these are more likely to be quite superficial (i.e., cuts and scratches), but nevertheless, they need to be considered.

Recently I have added a new section to my presentation around looking after a drunk friend, this time discussing the potential risks young men face when attempting to assist an intoxicated young woman. Over the last 18 months I have had contact with three families all going through a very similar experience. All of them have asked me not to use their particular case in a blog entry, however, they all agreed to allow me to 'merge' their three stories into one (using elements of each to create one case study), thus maintaining their anonymity. 

James was 18 and attending one of the final parties being held for his Year 12 cohort. He was the designated driver and had not been drinking. The three friends he had arrived with wanted to stay a little longer but James had had enough and decided to go home. Just before leaving the party he walked upstairs to use the bathroom. When he opened the door he found one of his female classmates lying on the floor incredibly drunk. She was conscious but only just … She had vomited over herself and was crying. James knew the girl was in his class but didn't know her or her friends particularly well. He walked in and set about looking after her. After about 30 minutes he helped the girl out of the bathroom and took her downstairs to her friends. He then left the party, drove home and went to bed. He was woken up by his mother and told that there were police at the door. They were there to arrest him for sexual assault. 

Her friends had taken the young woman home and shortly afterwards her parents took her to the police. According to the police report, the girl claimed that while she had been drunk James had taken advantage of the situation and she had been sexually assaulted. 

Now the only people who know what actually happened that night are the two people who were in that bathroom. I know the incident has totally destroyed two families and will in all likelihood continue to cause damage for some time to come. I need to make it clear that I have not met the young woman or her family. I have, however, had a number of discussions with James and his parents. I believe that the only good thing that can ever come from this story is to use it to highlight some important messages to other young men about how to look after drunk girls and keep themselves safe while they do so … I now tell James' story in my presentation to Year 10s and highlight two big mistakes he made in the handling of this situation. Put simply, young men need to be aware of the following messages that may help prevent them from finding themselves in a similar dilemma:

• never be alone with a drunk girl - ever! Does that mean that James shouldn't have looked after the girl in the bathroom? Should he have just simply walked away and left her there? Of course not! His first mistake was that he didn't get help from others immediately. As soon as he realized the girl was in trouble he should have yelled, screamed or got onto his phone and called for someone to come upstairs and help him look after her … There was a party going on downstairs, there were so many people there - one other person being present is all that was needed. It doesn't matter whether you know the young woman or not, being alone with someone who is drunk and vulnerable, puts you in an extremely compromising position. 
• make sure you can be seen by others at all times … In this case, James shut the bathroom door. He insists that he did so to protect the young woman's reputation. She was a mess and according to his version of the story, he did not want other people to see her in the state she was in … Now whether or not that is true, it is a dangerous thing to do. Always make sure you are potentially visible to others - never shut doors or take intoxicated people to dark parts of the garden. I get that friends want to shield their mates from 'prying eyes' (and in these days of cameras being everywhere it is not surprising that the first thing that crosses most young peoples' minds when they come across a drunk friend is to get them away from others who may take a photo and post it online) but when you're not able to be found because you have closed a door or taken them somewhere that is difficult to access, it is not surprising that questions are asked about your motives …

Of course, both of these messages are also applicable to young women, although the reasons for never being alone with a drunk guy or maintaining some degree of visibility are very different. As with other violent crimes, research shows that around half of all sexual assaults are committed by men who have drank alcohol. No matter how incapacitated the drunk young man is they can still hurt a girl trying to look after them, whether that be via sexual assault or in some other way. 

When you talk to young people about how to look after drunk friends their response is amazing. They sit on the edge of their seats and soak up every piece of information and practical strategy you can give them. They are desperate for knowledge in this area. As already said, even if they don't drink alcohol themselves, almost every teen will have to look after a drunk friend at some point during their adolescence. What staggers me is that we continue to see parents who send their 15-year-old son or daughter out on a Saturday night (some with a 4 or 6 pack of alcohol in hand) who have never had a discussion about what to do if something goes wrong … They're going out to parties and gatherings that are potentially very dangerous events, particularly when alcohol is thrown into the mix, even a little bit of safety information from a parent can be invaluable. 

Schools can only do so much, parents have to play their part in keeping their child safe … Don't be frightened to use your own experiences as a teen to highlight potential risks. Having a discussion about looking after a vomiting friend, when to call an ambulance and expressing your support of doing so should they believe it is appropriate, is so important. At the same time, highlighting the potential dangers associated with looking after a drunk friend is vital. We don't want them so frightened of the things that could go wrong that they simply abandon drunk friends and leave them to their own devices. The key message here is knowing when it is time to hand that person over to others (preferably sober adults) and never try to do this by yourself (no matter how honourable your motives may be) … It's not going to be an easy discussion but it's an important one ...

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When should you start the conversation about alcohol with your child?

In the last couple of weeks I've been asked a number of times when I believe is the best time to start the conversation about alcohol with your child. I'm often asked this question and I've written about this before but thought it may be a good idea to update a blog I wrote a couple of years ago that discussed this important issue …

A US report published in 2015 aimed at preventing binge drinking in young people recommended that parents should start talking to their children about alcohol at age 9. Co-author of the report, Dr Lorena Siqueira was reported as saying that the reason to start the conversation this early was that "kids are starting to develop impressions (about alcohol) as early as 9 years." She went on to say that for prevention to actually work, or at least have some effect, it's better for parents to influence ideas about alcohol early, rather than trying to change their impressions later, from positive to negative.

I've written many times that I believe that you should start talking to your child about drugs the minute you start giving them to them. We live in a pharmaceutical world where we have become convinced that for every problem we have, there is a drug that can fix it. Think about it for a moment – if you are depressed, you take a pill, if you can't get an erection, you take a pill – we start medicating our children from a very early age and begin to train them to be very effective drug users not long after they are born. One of my earlier blog entries discusses how parents can use pharmaceutical drugs and over-the-counter medications to have those initial conversations about drugs and how they are used. But what about alcohol? In reality this is the drug you are most likely going to have issues with your teen about - if you're meant to start the conversation at age 9, what in heavens are you meant to say? 

Most importantly parents should use every available opportunity to talk about the issue. Alcohol is everywhere. If kids are not seeing the adults around them drinking it, they are seeing it on TV, on billboards and on the side of buses and, of course, if they watch televised sport or attend a football game with you, it is likely to be saturated with alcohol advertising. The alcohol industry has done an incredible job of ensuring that you really can't get away from their product and although the ABAC Responsible Alcohol Marketing Code outlines regulations around alcohol advertising (e.g., ads should not show alcohol as the cause of or contributing to the achievement of personal, business, social, sporting, sexual or other success), they are still able to make drinking look pretty damn good! Parents need to ensure that, when and where appropriate, they challenge these messages by discussing the potential dangers associated with alcohol.

It's also important to remember that children at this age are asking lots of questions about things around them, including alcohol. It is highly likely that, if you drink, your drinking behaviour (or the behaviour of other family members or friends) will be questioned in some way. This can be incredibly confronting for parents but it provides a great opportunity for you to let your child know your views around alcohol and drinking, as well as reinforce your family values. This list of questions a child may ask, as well as some potential answers has been adapted from a Canadian resource developed by Parent Action on Drugs (PAD) called An Early Start: Drug Education Begins at Home and provides some suggestions for parents who may get asked those curly ones that they don't quite know how to deal with appropriately:

• "Can I have a sip of your beer?" "No. This is a drink for adults and it's not good for children. There are other drinks that are more suitable for young people of your age."

• "Why do you drink it?" "I enjoy the taste, but if I drink too much it will change the way I feel, so I have to be careful."
• "What’s in this drink that makes it taste so funny?" "This drink has alcohol in it. It's a drink for adults. Young people prefer the taste of other drinks and as they become adults their tastes may change. Some people never end up liking the taste though and so they choose never to drink alcohol."
• "Why did Uncle Jim start walking and talking funny at the party last night?" "Uncle Jim had too much alcohol to drink. Too much alcohol can make you feel and act differently. It can even make you very sick. What do you think about the way he acted?"
• "Why do you have a glass of wine with dinner?""When people eat, most usually drink something at the same time. You have your water or juice, I have a glass of wine. Some adults choose to drink wine with a meal because it goes with what we are eating - because we are older we taste things in a different way. It can make the food taste different for an adult. Alcohol can also make you sick if you have too much, but drinking it with a meal is the safest way to drink."

It is very clear that parents' attitudes and use influence a child's view and subsequent use of alcohol. According to the US report mentioned above, 80% of teenagers say that their parents are the biggest influence on their decision to drink. The PAD resource asks parents the following:

"Try to imagine your children watching you and others drink. Do they see you unwind with a drink? Do all of your social events and celebrations include alcohol? Do you ever ask your children to bring a drink to you?"

As I've said many times before, this doesn't mean you shouldn't drink alcohol in front of your child - you're an adult, you're allowed to do whatever you want as far as alcohol is concerned. It's just important to remember that everything you do is being watched and is having an impact. If every time you walk out the door to attend a social function or go out for dinner you have a brown paper bag with a couple of bottles in it, you are sending a very strong message to your child about the role alcohol plays in your socialising. There's nothing wrong with that and I'm certainly not saying that you should start sneaking alcohol out of the house under your jumper, you just need to talk about it! Talk about your alcohol use and how you ensure that you don't drink in a risky way. Make sure they know that you never drink drive and that a decision is always made about who will be the designated driver for the night well before you leave the house. Most importantly, make sure you hammer the simple message that drinking alcohol is 'adult behaviour', it's what adults do, not children or teens. Discuss it in the same way as driving. Driving is adult behaviour, teenagers never question that there is a 'line in the sand' as far as that behaviour is concerned. No matter how mature you are, you can't drive until you reach a certain age - drinking alcohol is exactly the same, you really shouldn't drink until you're an adult!

As I have said many times, it is impossible for a parent-child relationship to exist without positive communication. The most important thing to remember when it comes to talking about any difficult subject, and that includes alcohol, is that it's not a five-minute 'talk' — it's about building an ongoing dialogue. Starting nice and early builds a great foundation and as stated above, hopefully influences positive values about alcohol early, rather than trying to change more negative views they are likely to establish later from watching the world around them.

Reference:
Siqueira, L. & Smith, V.C. (2015). Binge drinking. Pediatrics 136, e718-726.

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Pineapple Chick’n with Sriracha

This recipe has been made using Gardein’s Teriyaki Chick’n Strips. They are vegan yet taste like meat. They are made from plant based ingredients that are kosher with no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives. The primary ingredient in the Chick’n strips is soy and ancient grain flour. I hope you had a chance to look at my post regarding vegan burgers from Gardein. You can check it out here. Yesterday I had the chance to try their Teriyaki Chick’n strips. I made Pineapple chicken with it. I spiced it with Sriracha of course! 

As you can see, my family likes spicy food so we always add a touch of Sriracha which gives it a nice kick.  Cooking the Chick’n strips hardly takes any time. The recipe for he pineapple Chick’n  is  on the back of the pack. But I will write it below for you. 

Serves: 4

Prep time: 10 mins Cook time: 10 mins 

Ingredients: 

Gardein Teriyaki Chick'n Strips: 1 package 

Pineapple cubes: 1 cup

Sriracha sauce: 2 tsp 

Scallions, finely chopped: 1 tbsp

Cashewnut halves: 1 tbsp 

Method: 

Cook teriyaki chick'n strips as per package instructions until addition of the sauce. Don't add the sauce. Add the pineapple pieces and cook for 2 mins. 

Now add the sauce and cook for another minute. 

Add the Sriracha sauce. Mix well. 

Garnish with scallions and cashewnut pieces.

Serve with rice. 

Enjoy! I hope you enjoy it as much as we did. This is a perfect meal for a weeknight dinner or a relaxed summer evening.

You can check out all the other Gardein products here. 

I am looking forward to trying the remainder of their products in the near future.

Please do share your thoughts. Your opinion matters!

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Three Bean Salad.. and a Mother’s Day Giveaway!

What better occasion than Mother’s Day to share this very informative post with you all. As mothers we do everything for everyone else but us. We forget about our health, our well-being and “me” as an individual. In this day Cancer is ubiquitous. Every family has atleast one person who has been diagnosed with some form of cancer or the other. For us as women, breast cancer is most concerning. Breast cancer has become quite commonplace today. We can however fight it with good, healthy food and lifestyle. These are also the topics that Dr Kristi Funk addresses in her latest book “Breasts, an owner’s manual" which was released onto the bookshelves on May 1st , 2018. 

For those of you who are not familiar with Dr. Kristi Funk, she is a leading board-certified breast cancer surgeon and specialist in comprehensive wellness, including nutrition, fitness, and stress management. Best known as the breast surgeon for Angelina Jolie and Sheryl Crow, Dr. Funk has compiled her accessible and powerful strategies for reducing cancer risk and achieving optimal overall health into this much-anticipated book, Breasts: The Owner’s Manual. 

To get your own free copy by participating in the giveaway, all you have to do is enter your email Address. 

Dr. Funk embraces meat reduction for healthy living. She personally provided a selection of delicious Meatless Monday recipes exclusively for us bloggers to try. Today I am sharing with you another of her very healthy, quick and easy recipe which is right up my alley: a three-bean Salad! This is a salad that can be rustled up within minutes. It would make for a delicious weekday meal, perfect for potlucks, parties, picnics and barbecues!! Do try it. 

I have tried not to alter anything and I am presenting Dr. Funk’s recipe verbatim.

Three beans walk into a Salad..

Serves 6

Ingredients:

1 can black beans (rinsed well)

1 can kidney beans (rinsed well)

1 can chickpeas (rinsed well, save chickpea liquid)

1 avocado cut into half inch cubes

2 Persian cucumbers chopped into 1/2 inch cubes

1/2 cup tomatoes (chopped)

1 tsp fresh oregano (preferred) or 1/2 tsp dried oregano

2 to 3 T of red wine vinegar

1-2 T chickpea liquid

Salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

Combine beans, veggies and avocado and toss gently. Add oregano, then toss, add chickpea liquid, then red wine vinegar and salt and pepper to taste.

Tip: Chill the beans before making this if you are planning to eat it right away. Or you can make it (minus the avocado), chill for an hour, then add the avocado right before serving.

I am bringing this salad to all my friends at Angie's Fiesta Friday #223. Her cohost this week is the amazing Mollie @ The Frugal Hausfrau.

Please do share your thoughts. Your opinion matters!

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South of the Border Burrito; Meatless Monday, vegan recipe and a giveaway!!

My family is a connoisseur of vegetarian food. Fish and chicken is cooked only occasionally. I love fish and cannot resist grilled chicken. However, my husband and kids prefer vegetarian food over non-vegetarian. Needless to say, I therefore end up cooking more vegetarian dishes than non-vegetarian. Truth be told, personally for me, cooking a vegetarian dish is much easier and quicker than non-vegetarian.

I am a huge supporter of the Meatless Monday Movement. I often feel that people in the West have this misconception that a meal is incomplete without some form of animal protein and that animal protein is essential for normal growth and development.  Indian cuisine proves that this is a myth. Many Indians are vegetarian and lead a healthy, whole and successful life. 

Coming back to the recipe on hand.. when Taylor from Meatless Monday told me about an opportunity to work with Kristi Funk by trying one of the heathy recipes from her  latest book filled with tons of information regarding breast cancer, including healthy recipes, I was all for it! I am always on the quest for cooking in a healthier manner. I grew up in a family where 1 liter of oil would last the entire month. This recipe of Kristi’s uses no oil at all! I had to try that. I have to tell you, it came out delicious!! 

For those of you who are not familiar with Dr. Kristi Funk, she is a leading board-certified breast cancer surgeon and specialist in comprehensive wellness, including nutrition, fitness, and stress management. Best known as the breast surgeon for Angelina Jolie and Sheryl Crow, Dr. Funk has compiled her accessible and powerful strategies for reducing cancer risk and achieving optimal overall health into a much-anticipated book, Breasts: The Owner’s Manual, which came on shelves May 1, 2018.

Dr. Funk embraces meat reduction for healthy living. She personally provided a selection of delicious Meatless Monday recipes exclusively for us to try. One of them was the South of the Border Burrito. I tried it and everyone at home loved it! It was quick and easy. I would have never imagined that cooking without oil would taste so good! I made some minor changes to it due to lack of some ingredients. I didn’t have cilantro or avocado and therefore skipped it. I used chopped lettuce instead. Instead of Braggs amino acids I used tamari sauce. I have described the recipe verbatim as provided by her.

If you would like a copy of Dr Funk’s book, sign up with your email to participate in the give away! 

Serves 3-4

Ingredients:

1 package (8 oz.) organic firm or extra firm, well drained tofu (prep technique below)

1 onion

1 large green pepper

1 large red pepper

2 handfuls chopped spinach

2 tomatoes

1 tsp turmeric

2 T Bragg Amino acids (or tamari)

Veggie broth to broth sauté

Salsa

1 Avocado

Cilantro to taste

Whole grain tortillas

Directions:

Heat pan with a tiny bit of broth just covering the bottom of the pan. Once the broth is simmering, add the chopped onions, tomatoes and peppers. Sauté until they start to get soft (about 6-8 minutes). Keep adding broth by the tablespoon when pan is gets too dry.

Crumble tofu (I use my hands), add turmeric and Bragg Amino acids and sauté until everything is starting to brown just a bit.

Add spinach, turn OFF heat, and toss for a minute or so.

Taste and decide if you want to add a little more Bragg’s.

Heat tortilla until soft and fill with mixture. Add salsa, cilantro and avocado and wrap into a burrito.

Tip: Draining tofu completely is important. Cut the tofu block in half and press in clean kitchen towels, then wrap in a dry towel and place under a heavy pan (or a stack of books!). Leave for at least 20 minutes and change out towels if they get too saturated. Better yet, buy a tofu press... such a great gadget to have!

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