Mike Gurr, Clinical Director of Sedona Sky Academy, spoke to Lon Woodbury, the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens on L.A. Talk Radio, about the topic of combating shame. Lon Woodbury is an Independent Educational Consultant, a prolific Amazon Kindle author, and the publisher of the industry-recognized Woodbury Reports. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984.
Mike Gurr
Mike Gurr serves at Sedona Sky Acadamy as the Clinical Director. This is a therapeutic boarding school for girls in Rim Rock. He has earned two masters degrees. One is an M.Sc. in Exercise and Sport Science from the University of Utah. The other is a masters degree in Professional Counseling. He worked as a coach for high schools and colleges before getting a degree in counseling.
Combating Shame Improves Self Esteem
It is important that adolescents begin to address the problems of low self-esteem by combating shame, Mike believes.
He defined shame as a fear of being disconnected and said that two mental tapes drive fear: "I'm not good enough" and "who do you think you are?" "If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me" is another common belief-system that keeps shame in place.
Shame keeps people small and prevents them from being authentic. It arises from the absence of a sense of belonging. In fact, in extreme cases, people may even believe they are not relevant enough. Ironically, shame is not immediately obvious because people often put up a wall of silence or aggression to hide it. It is correlated with numerous psychological disorders and closely linked to low self-esteem.
Our achievement based society actively promotes shame, and, in fact, it is considered an essential part of parenting, teaching, and acculturation. However, it results in a person playing the victim, blaming others, feeling apathetic, and assuming an attitude of entitlement.
Letting go of wondering what other people think about us can lead to happiness, loving-kindness, and creative living. The way to do this would be to develop shame resilience. Someone who had developed shame resilience would notice shame-producing people and circumstances, and learn simple skills like speaking through their sense of shame, as well as simply showing up, being present, and staying completely authentic. In essence, combating shame was all about noticing shame triggers and refusing to drawn into feelings of shame.
Mike offered an insight into how the techniques used at Sedona Sky Academy worked when he shared stories about students who had learned to take their power back by becoming open, vulnerable, and genuine.
Mike Gurr
Mike Gurr serves at Sedona Sky Acadamy as the Clinical Director. This is a therapeutic boarding school for girls in Rim Rock. He has earned two masters degrees. One is an M.Sc. in Exercise and Sport Science from the University of Utah. The other is a masters degree in Professional Counseling. He worked as a coach for high schools and colleges before getting a degree in counseling.
Combating Shame Improves Self Esteem
It is important that adolescents begin to address the problems of low self-esteem by combating shame, Mike believes.
He defined shame as a fear of being disconnected and said that two mental tapes drive fear: "I'm not good enough" and "who do you think you are?" "If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me" is another common belief-system that keeps shame in place.
Shame keeps people small and prevents them from being authentic. It arises from the absence of a sense of belonging. In fact, in extreme cases, people may even believe they are not relevant enough. Ironically, shame is not immediately obvious because people often put up a wall of silence or aggression to hide it. It is correlated with numerous psychological disorders and closely linked to low self-esteem.
Our achievement based society actively promotes shame, and, in fact, it is considered an essential part of parenting, teaching, and acculturation. However, it results in a person playing the victim, blaming others, feeling apathetic, and assuming an attitude of entitlement.
Letting go of wondering what other people think about us can lead to happiness, loving-kindness, and creative living. The way to do this would be to develop shame resilience. Someone who had developed shame resilience would notice shame-producing people and circumstances, and learn simple skills like speaking through their sense of shame, as well as simply showing up, being present, and staying completely authentic. In essence, combating shame was all about noticing shame triggers and refusing to drawn into feelings of shame.
Mike offered an insight into how the techniques used at Sedona Sky Academy worked when he shared stories about students who had learned to take their power back by becoming open, vulnerable, and genuine.
About the Author:
Lon Woodbury, the founder of Struggling Teens, has recorded the entire interview on his weekly L.A. Talk Radio show for people to at their convenience.
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