" What is essential in the pleasure between females and males is a matter of taking it slowly and continuing for a long time. If the man can go slowly and continue for a long time, the woman will be greatly delighted.... . "
- Huang Lao -
People often ask how Astrology relates to healing and health. Isn't it just a parlour game for fun and amusement?
In fact, the ancients took astrological data quite seriously when considering a possible relationship of any kind, but particularly when looking for a mate. By matching up compatible qualities at the beginning, marriages and other relationships stood a much better chance of succeeding since the participants already had wide areas of common interest.
A natural by-product of harmonious relationships is good health, good fortune and a long life. The idea of marrying one's 'soul mate' or 'falling in love' and basing a life's path on that seems quite unwise and unhealthy to the ancients.
At the root of Chinese philosophy is the desire to achieve balance and harmony with Nature and with one's environment. One may well ask how one achieves that in a relationship when it starts out in a hormone induced state of mental imbalance, which 'falling in love', at the least the notion of Romantic Love so common in the West, certainly is.
The ancients would argue that one has a much better chance of finding 'true love', and a true bonding, that will last, with a mate, scientifically shown to have compatible qualities.
It is certainly true, that many who start off a relationship in a state of hormone induced ecstasy, and who can argue this isn't a wonderful state to be in, find soon enough that conflict arises and the relationship breaks apart, often with great harm being done to the participants. Relationship break ups (and not just marriages) are one of the most stressful experiences encountered in modern society. Relationship break ups strike at the very heart in an intimate and often devastating manner.
I have heard it said, that one doesn't really have a choice about whom one 'falls in love with.' In my experience that is very often the case. It is one of the more exciting things about being human. On the other hand, feelings and emotions tend to be quite unreliable leading to confusion and much stress without the guiding light of the Head.
To the ancients it is preferable to develop a balance between the head and the Heart. Emotions are very much a part of us and they are meant to be expressed. It is healthy indeed to express ourselves emotionally and leading with the Heart is not wrong, per se, it is just unwise to place all your faith in it.
A good balance between the Heart and the Head, between the emotions and the intellect, makes for better choices. Blending the emotions with the Intellect makes for more inspired choices and genuine Joy. It is well known that longstanding emotional disharmony is a major cause of illness, while those who generally have a happy and calm disposition tend to be sick less and live longer.
John Bradshaw, who coined the idea of the 'inner child' suggests that in to-day's society what attracts us at the emotional level is often the recognition of our own dysfunction in another. It is often the case that two 'wounded' children come together each looking to the other for healing, or at least to replace the 'wounded' parent that anchored the dysfunction in the first place.
Neither is able to move beyond the emotional/reactive state. Astrological data can be enormously helpful to bring understanding and a rational approach to such a situation. Even better to the ancients, avoid the stress of such situations altogether by consulting one's charts before one is carried too far along. By doing so, one will avoid much stress and possible illness, attract good fortune and live a longer and happier life.