Saturday, December 23, 2017

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah (belated), Yuletide Greetings, Solstice Salutations, Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays!

Whatever holidays you celebrate(d), or even if you don't celebrate any, We wish you a fabulous season full of warmth and love.

May you and your loved ones have peace, health, and happiness.

I plan to update this blog as I can over the holidays, so keep checking back. Or better yet, subscribe in the column over there on the right if you haven't done so yet.

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Bigots Protect Bigotry



See Jane's latest for what is an outrageous move by bigots.

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Friday, December 22, 2017

Same-Gender Marriage and Consanguinamory in the US


Gay marriage (or same-sex marriage, or most accurately same-gender marriage) and consanguinamory (romantic and/or erotic love between close relatives) are usually (but not always) two different things.

As of this posting, there are people fretting that allowing more consenting adults their freedom to marry is going to result in... even more consenting adults having the freedom to marry! Oh, the horror! Because the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry is now legal nationwide in the US, some people are asking if people in consanguineous relationships (or adult consensual incest) are going to have their rights and be treated like, you know, people.

Please note everything we're discussing here is about consensual sex and relationships between adults. We're not talking about rape or molestation.


In the US, the bigotry against marriage equality is rapidly losing out. We recently had the Supreme Court decide for the nationwide limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry. The denial of marriage equality still currently extends to preventing first cousins from marrying in a little over half of the states. If you consider cousin marriage incestuous, then the remaining states, which allow marriages between first cousins (some with ridiculous restrictions) are where same-gender first cousins can enter into monogamous same-gender "incestuous" marriage.



There are a few states with laws against consensual sex between first cousins, including North and South Dakota, Utah, Texas, Nevada, Kentucky, and Mississippi. The states that neither marry nor criminalize will generally allow first cousins to be together without marriage.

There are some states that do not criminalize consensual incest between closer relatives than cousins, but with very few exceptions, they will not marry those lovers. Most US states still have laws against consensual incest (consanguinamory), and in most of them, people do continue to be prosecuted for simply loving each other.

Laws against gay sex have been struck down by the Supreme Court. So, gay sex is now legal nationwide, consanguinamory isn’t yet.

Mixed-gender consanguinamory (such as brother-sister sex) involves sex between consenting adults of who are closely related.*

Gay marriage is a commitment between consenting adults of the same gender.

Those are usually not the same things.

Here are some things they do have in common: 1. They are between consenting adults. 2. They don’t hurt anybody. 3. Both have been subject to discrimination and being banned by the sex-negative busybodies who like to interfere in the love lives of others. 4. There is no rational reason, consistently applied to other relationships, as to why either of these are or were banned in certain places.  5. LGBT people do not choose their orientation and people do not choose the parents to whom they are born. 6. Gay relationships and consanguineous relationships have always been part of humanity, and are common around the world.

Otherwise, they are two entirely different freedoms to marry. I support both freedoms to marry, and others, because I support relationship rights for all and full marriage equality.

An adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with ANY and ALL consenting adults (and any of those without the others), without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. Don't like it? Then don't do it. (That’s a good, easy response to bigots that doesn't throw anyone under the bus.)

Different people have different likes and dislikes, different biases and prejudices than others. Some LGBT people are in consanguinamorous relationships. Other LGBT people are supportive, some neutral, and some disgusted by the idea. Just like everyone else. But nobody's disgust should interfere in another's life.

Consenting adults may do things with each other that might disgust a majority of other  adults, but that disgust of others should not prevent the consenting adults from having their sex or love lives. Each of us should stand up for the relationship rights of all consenting adults. Gay sex may disgust someone. Heterosexual sex may disgust another. BDSM may disgust someone else. Interracial sex may disgust someone else. Polyamory may disgust one person. Consanguinamory may disgust another. So what? The disgusted person doesn’t have to do it, but should recognize that other adults should be free to have orientations, feelings, and relationships they may not understand, and free to express their sexual desires with, and affections for, other consenting adults in the ways they want.


*Some places include adoptive or step relations under the criminalization of incest, even though there is no biological relation between the participants.

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Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Submitted - The Double Loves Series: Eddie and Jocelyn

Here's something different for this blog. Someone has submitted a short story. Yes, we do take submissions, including fiction, whether text or cartoons or illustrations. Nonfiction such as "confessions," commentaries, reports, and case study updates are also welcome, as long as they deal with the topics of this blog, support equality, and are SAFE FOR WORK. If you want to submit anything, you can email to the address fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com. Once you send us something, whether it is used on the blog is entirely up to us and there will be no material compensation. We are willing to give you credit and link to anywhere you want us to link.


*****


The Double Loves Series:  Eddie and Jocelyn
By Martin Witt


18 year old Edward Paul Shepherd left his small hometown of Corinth and was on his way to his freshmen year of college.  His heart was racing with excitement as he flipped on the turn signals to take the exit off the interstate.  Eddie, as friends and family called him, pulled up to the intersection and looked both ways.  In his eagerness to get this new phase of his life going he miscalculated the speed and distance of the traffic coming towards him.  He pulled out and tried to accelerate ahead of the cars closing in on him.  Unfortunately he couldn’t.  There was a crash.   Eddie was critically injured and the other driver died at the scene.


Eddie’s new phase of life was not what he expected.  He was in the hospital for several weeks, with doctors not sure if he’d survive.  The young man was strong however, and he did survive.  Several months in a rehabilitation center gave him the ability to have a reasonable quality of life.  Eddie’s college career finally got started, but he didn’t find it as exciting as he once did. 


While Eddie was physically healed, the guilt he felt for causing the death of another person stayed with him for a long time.  Eddie saw a therapist in hopes of dealing with his emotional trauma.  He didn’t find it beneficial.  Finally, however, Eddie’s therapist suggested he make apologies to the widow of the man who died in the accident. Eddie wasn’t sure he could, but it felt like something he had to do. 


More than a year and a half after the accident Eddie found himself at a modest homelocated on Thebes Street.  It belonged to the late Mr. Laurence King whose death Eddiefelt responsible.  The door opened and there stood the widow, Mrs. Jocelyn King.  Eddie introduced himself and explained why he’d come.  He fully expected Mrs. King to slam the door in his face.   Instead, however, she was kind and welcomed Eddie inside.


Jocelyn heard what Eddie had to say.  She felt his sincerity and accepted his apology.  Eddie felt an immense load taken off his shoulders.  Jocelyn told Eddie that she appreciated his visit, but he was young and still had his entire life ahead.  She told him to let go of the guilt he and move on with his life.  Eddie promised he would.


As Eddie prepared to leave Jocelyn welcomed him to visit her anytime he wanted.  When Eddie left the yard Jocelyn was certain she’d never see him again.  She was wrong.  Eddie did visit, and he visited often.  At first Eddie’s visits were merely to help with simple chores and tasks since Jocelyn had no children of her own.  Jocelyn assumed the young man was working off his guilt.  Before long, however, Eddie’s visits grew beyond chores and conscience clearing.


Though Jocelyn was his senior by at least 20 years, Eddie found her attractive.  Their difference in age began to matter less and less.  Jocelyn realized that the boy was becoming attracted to her.  She feared it was going to lead nowhere good, but Jocelyn felt unable to send her young suitor away.  What woman would not enjoy the attentions of a good looking young man? 


Time passed.  Eddie and Jocelyn grew closer.  Their love became undeniable, though both tried to resist what was happening.  One night when all the stars were in perfect alignment Eddie and Jocelyn found themselves in bed.  Though it was Eddie’s first time Jocelyn found his lovemaking skills more than adequate.


As Jocelyn enjoyed every bit of pleasure that Eddie’s body, youth and stamina offered her, she floated back to the day he showed up at her doorstep.  She thought of every time he visited after that.  Jocelyn remembered watching the young man mow her lawn shirtless and the reactions it caused in her body.  She remembered every compliment he gave her regarding her appearance.  Those compliments inspired Jocelyn to fix herself up a bit so to net more of the boy’s attentions.  Looking back, Jocelyn should have seen all this coming.  She was in love.  It was unexpected, but an amazing love to be sure.


Eddie’s mind was racing to process everything that was happening.  Making love to Jocelyn snapped the last chain of guilt that bound him.  He had let go and was moving into a new phase of his life.  It was unexpected, but an amazing phase to be sure.  He was in love with the most beautiful and kind woman he’d ever known.  His life was perfect. 


The weekend that followed Eddie’s college graduation saw him and Jocelyn married.   No two people ever appeared more perfectly matched than Eddie and Jocelyn.  Their marriage was mythological to all who knew them.  Their love expanded exponentiallyover the years and their family grew.  Jocelyn gave Eddie four beautiful daughters.  The young father was very proud of his family.


One day Eddie received some tragic news.  While on their way to visit him, Eddie’sparents, Mr. and Mrs. Paul Shepherd, were murdered during a carjacking.  By coincidence it was at the same intersection where Eddie’s miscalculation killed Mr. King years prior.  Once the funerals and estate issues were settled, Eddie set out to find the persons who killed his parents.  He patiently worked with the police and investigators to leave no stone unturned.  It took a long time, but eventually the bandits were brought to justice.


Several items that belonged to his parents were recovered along with their car.  One of those items was a jewelry box.  It was precious to his mom and Eddie was glad to get it back.  While everything of any value was long gone, there was a secret compartment that contained a document.  It was a certificate of adoption.  Eddie had no idea.  He was filled with mixed emotions by the revelation.  He surmised that the purpose of his parents’ visit was the share that bit of information with him. 


Eddie tried to learn to live with the reality that the people he thought were his parents were not.  He found, however, that he could not live without knowing who his biological parents were and why they gave him up.  So Eddie set out to find them.  While Jocelyn urged him to move on, she supported his efforts.  The search led nowhere for Eddie until his eldest daughter, Antonia, suggested a DNA survey.  With no other avenues to pursue, Eddie and his family all submitted samples to a company called Delphi, a DNA history firm.  The results come back to reveal that Eddie and Jocelyn are more than husband and wife, but mother and son also.


The information was devastating to the entire family.  Eddie more than anything wanted to know how this happened at all since Jocelyn had no children prior to their marriage.  Jocelyn explained that before she and her first husband, Laurence, were married, he was a seminary student.  Laurence had hopes of becoming a minister.  While he and Jocelyn were still engaged, however, Jocelyn got pregnant.   The seminary’s Dean of Students, as if some all knowing oracle, advised Laurence to “get rid of 'it' or that ends your plans for a life as a minister.”  The impressionable young Laurence did as the Dean advised   When their son was born, they gave him up for adoption and never spoke of him again.


However, Laurence was never “right” after that.  It wasn’t long before the mental and emotional problems began to haunt him.  Surely guilt and some warped religious advice were responsible.  Laurence was convinced that his son was out to kill him.  A psychiatrist prescribed medication to keep Laurence functional, but he’d stopped taking it and was in a delirium on the day he crossed paths with Eddie at that intersection.


Eddie was angry beyond belief.  Killing his father and marrying his mother sounded like something from a Greek tragedy, yet it was his and his family’s reality.  There was no way to process this alone, but even more tragic was the fact that there was nowhere to turn for support.  This situation was no one’s fault, yet everyone involved would be held responsible in the eyes of a judgmental world.


Jocelyn considered killing herself.   Eddie wanted to gouge out his eyes as he could not bare to look at his family. However, inside them both rested a spark that could not be extinguished by any sort of peer, cultural or religious pressure.  Eddie and Jocelyn were in love.  It was not just as husband and wife, but as mother and son also.  It was a double love they shared.  Whether brought together by fate, the Divine or some strange mysterious workings of genetics, they were in love.  That double love was what countedand through whatever came that same double love would be their anchor and elixir.


It took a long time to resolve all the cognitive and social dissonances surrounding their consanguinamoreous relationship, but through the mysterious and nondiscriminatory powers of human love, Eddie P. King and his family did find a way to live happily ever after.



The End


*****
It's an interesting update to classic mythology, no?

Please note, as this is a submission, I'm assuming it doesn't violate any copyrights.

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NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #11


“It will be a legal/paperwork nightmare as our system is set up for couples.” That’s what the bigots said about same-gender marriage and the Americans With Disabilities Act and just about any civil rights laws. Of course it is easier for those who already have what they want to keep things as they are. But what about all of the people who are denied their rights?

Adopting the polygamous freedom to marry under full marriage equality will take much less adjustment than adopting the Americans With Disabilities Act, the Violence Against Women Act and many other laws necessary to for equal protection and civil rights. Contract and business law already provides adaptable examples of how law can accommodate configurations involving three or more people, including when someone joins an existing relationship or leaves a relationship.


There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://ift.tt/1K0B6Zj

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #10 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #12

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Tuesday, December 19, 2017

SPOILERS - Star Wars Can Still Advance Marriage Equality

You know the drill. If you haven't seen "Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi" yet and don't want any of it spoiled, just skip over this entry.


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Really. Don't read the rest of this entry if you don't want spoilers.
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After Episode VII, there was much speculation about the identity of Rey's parents. Fans posited various theories. This is what was posted previously on this blog.

Then, as it turns out, the "The Last Jedi" either didn't answer the question or supplied "false" information that Rey's parents aren't part of the established Jedi dynasties.

It is possible that what Rey was told/learned about her parents isn't the truth, or the whole truth.

So, we're holding out hope that she is the result of consanguinamory, which helps explain why she is so powerful even with minimal training. It would also help explain her apparent attraction to Kylo, particularly when he's half-nude.

Make it so! (I know, wrong series.) DO OR DO NOT! THERE IS NO TRY!

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Sunday, December 17, 2017

How Marriage Equality Supports Family Values and Morality

There are people who constantly make a point of telling us their beliefs that marriage is important for our countries, that being married is good for adults and for children, that commitment is good, that unmarried sex is bad, unmarried cohabitation is bad, that being a single mother is bad, and that marriage is needed to “channel male sexuality.” They cite with worry the fact that there are fewer married households now and more children being raised outside of a home headed by married parents. These are what they say “family values” and “morality” are about. Everyone should get married and only have sex and raise children in marriage and should go to church every week and enjoy “freedom of religion.”


Let’s consider some facts, at least how the stand in the US (your country may vary.)…


  • Some people are gay, some people are lesbian, and almost all of them are going to be having sex for all of their adult lives.
  • Some people are inherently nonmonogamous, and won’t be monogamous even under the threat of losing everything in their life.
  • Some people belong to religions that promote a form of polygamy or polyamory.
  • Consensual adult sex, gay, heterosexual, or whatever, monogamous, group, or whatever, is only illegal if it is consanguinamorous (in most states) or even if it isn’t, but still falls under anti-incest laws. Legally married or not, it isn’t illegal for adults to have sex with multiple adults they and perhaps their church considers their spouses, or complete strangers, including a different person (or two) every night.
  • There are people in consanguinamorous relationships, some with children together, who would marry if they legally could.
  • It isn’t illegal for one man to get multiple women pregnant at the same time.
  • It isn’t illegal, in most states, for three or more adults to live together as spouses or sexual partners.
  • A man can have woman carry a child for him as a surrogate mother and he can raise the child by himself or with another man or men. There’s also adoption.
  • A woman can use donated sperm to get pregnant and raise a child by herself or with another woman or women. There’s also adoption.
  • There are people doing all of these things, and they’re not going to stop.

Given all of these facts, if these adults could legally marry any consenting adults, and at least some of them did as we know some would, it would mean more of the sex, cohabitation, and parenting that is going to happen anyway would happen within marriage. More of the households would be married households. Fewer children would be living with unmarried parents. More people would have the benefits of marriage.

Given these facts, wouldn’t it be better for “family values” and “morality” and “freedom of religion” to support full marriage equality?

Full marriage equality would also mean fewer marriages undertaken solely for something like immigration purposes and fewer people being unwittingly used as beards for someone who is in the closet. Polygamous marriage even makes it more likely that young children can be with a parent rather than in day care, if that is something someone is worried about. Think about it; in many places families can't live on one income, but if there are three spouses, two can earn incomes while the third is home.

If “family values” are really about helping people, and reducing unmarried sex, cohabitation, and parenting, then people who use that phrase will support full marriage equality. It not, then we’ll know they’re really most concerned with protecting privileges for heterosexual, claimed-monogamist, Christians-of-only-some-denominations.[Note: This entry was first posted on this blog several years ago. It is still relevant. Nothing written in this entry is intended to be against nonmarital relationships or sex.]

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Saturday, December 16, 2017

Why? Many of the Same Reasons Anyone Else Does It

Vicky Wireko wrote at myjoyonline.com under "Reality Zone: Why would a father sleep with his biological daughter?"

Without yet getting to the text of the piece, the terms need to be defined. By "sleep," she no doubt means intercourse. But is she referring to rape or is she referring to consensual sex?  Rape and lovemaking are two different things. Rape should always be illegal. Lovemaking should never be illegal. But "biological daughter" can mean a woman the father didn't meet or didn't have a relationship with until she was an adult, or at least hasn't had a relationship with since an early age. Consanguinamory initiated through Genetic Sexual Attraction has a different dynamic than consanguinamory growing from an existing sociological relationship.

Why would a father make love with his biological daughter? I'm talking about CONSENT ADULTS here.

For many of the the same reasons a man would have sex with any woman:

He's a heterosexual male and she's a receptive or initiating female he finds attractive.

They love each other.

It feels good and is fun. This is especially true when it comes to consanguinamory.

To bond.

To express love.

To have children.

Some of them have been brought together through Genetic Sexual Attraction, some of them haven't.

There are many reasons, but they shouldn't need to justify it to anyone else. Why is ultimately theirs to share, not anyone else's business. Perhaps a better question is why wouldn't/shouldn't he? Sex is not a bad thing. Those who think it is are probably doing it wrong.

What did Wireko have to say? Let's see...

Everything is certainly wrong with a father sleeping with his blood daughter.
 Does she give a reason?
It is repugnant apart from the fact that it is a taboo in our custom.
Ah, Discredited Arguments #1 and 2.

However, when a father’s love for his daughter straddles beyond parental love veering off to lust, to the extent of sexual abuse, it becomes horrendous.
Abuse and lovemaking are two different things. She goes on to write about abuse, without giving a good reason as to why consenting adults shouldn't be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage. Don't like it? Don't do it. But there ARE adult women in loving spousal-type relationships with their biological fathers, despite what prejudiced bigots think.

Please also see Intergenerational Relationships Can Work 



why would a woman sleep with her father why would a father and daughter have sex why would a parent have sex with an adult child why would a woman have sex with her father

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Friday, December 15, 2017

NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #10


“Polyamory/polygamy spreads sexually transmitted infections.” Unprotected sex with someone who is infected is how such infections may be transmitted. Twenty people could have group sex and a group marriage for fifty years and if none of them brings an infection into the marriage and they only have sex with each other, none of them will get a sexually transmitted infection.

We do not deny people their freedom to marry based on which diseases they have. In most places, people can legally have sex with multiple partners anyway. Polyfidelity can be encouraged if polygamy is legalized and polyamory is no longer stigmatized, which would actually reduce disease transmission. Polyamorous people tend to be more careful about prevention, safer sex, and actually talking about the issues involved.

There is no good reason to deny an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race or religion, the right to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (or any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination.

Feel free to share, copy and paste, and otherwise distribute. This has been adapted from this page at Full Marriage Equality: http://ift.tt/1K0B6Zj

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny Love #9 

Go to NOT a Good Reason to Deny (Polyamorous) Love #11

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