The woman interviewed below should be free to decide whether or not to legally marry the person she considers her spouse, yet they could be harassed, persecuted, imprisoned, and stripped of their children if they were open about their love. They are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone; why should they be denied their rights? In much of the world, including all but a couple of US states, they could be criminally prosecuted for their love.
Read the interview below and see for yourself what she has to say. You may think this relationship is interesting, or it might make you uncomfortable, or you might find it incredibly sexy, but whatever your reaction, should these lovers be denied equal access to marriage or any other rights?
***THIS INTERVIEW DOES GET SLIGHTLY EXPLICIT***
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FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY: Describe yourself.
Anonymous Woman: I am an unmarried mom of four living in the United States. I was originally from Brazil and would travel back and forth throughout my life. I am 40 years old. I am a corporate manager for a major company. I have one sister, 35 years old.
FME: You are in a spousal relationship with your biological son? How old is he?
Yes. Jaime is 25 years old. He is in IT at a large company but has an athletic build.
FME: Have you ever been legally or ceremonially married?
We are not legally married but we had a ceremony with a few friends and my sister present. They all know the truth about our relationship. We have been married for seven years now.
I was never legally married. I got pregnant at 14 and gave birth at 15 and his father was never involved in our lives except for sending us money.
FME: How would you describe your sexual orientation?
We are both heterosexual. I kissed a few girls in my youth while experimenting but realized I wasn’t attracted to women.
FME: You currently live with...?
I currently live with my son and our three children.
FME: Tell us about the children.
We have three children; a daughter, six, a son, four, and another daughter, three. Our children are completely healthy happy children and have no issues.
FME: What was family life like for you growing up? What was your childhood like? How was sexuality handled in your family? Was it a taboo subject, or very restrictive, or more of an open and accepting thing?
I had a normal childhood. Traveling back and forth from Brazil to the USA frequently I was exposed to both cultures. We were raised more in an open community in Brazil; sexuality was not as taboo and was a more openly discussed issue. I tried to raise my son in a similar environment where he could be open with any problems and ask any questions he may have without any stigma.
FME: When did you first notice an attraction?
I knew my son had an attraction to me when he was going through puberty, always trying to peek on me any chance he could trying to see me changing, in the shower or any other chance he had. I never said anything to him about it and just let him. He would also hug me a lot from front and the back and would linger holding me for a bit. I would feel his erection and knew what he was doing and just let him have a thrill.
He would always masturbate not too long afterward, confirming his attraction. I found it very flattering and maybe even encouraged it, leaving my door open a bit at all times.
I had read online about it and found that it was normal for most boys due to their hormones. I also noticed he didn’t seem to have any sort of girlfriends after a few years and was getting a bit worried. I tried talking to him about it and he told me he was nervous around girls and had never kissed one before. He opened up to me about how all his other friends had and he was self conscious about it, which was why he wasn’t asking anyone out.
He then asked me if I could help teach him to kiss. I was unsure but I figured kissing isn’t that bad, we kissed on the cheeks already so lips aren’t that much different, so I agreed. We would kiss a bit every evening while I taught him.
FME: How did things progress?
When we started kissing I felt turned on and with him I could tell he was, too. We would kiss and make out every day. First I would just sit next to him but then it would evolve to one of us lying on top of the other or me straddling him. By this time he already learned what he needed to do but we kept on going it just was something we would do every night. I decided to also teach him what to do when making out, where to put his hands and how to touch. I would let him touch me and eventually it led to us wearing very little clothing while doing it, usually him in boxers and me in lingerie and eventually just panties. Eventually I couldn’t take it and more and [masturbated him]. That became our daily routine for about three weeks until I gave him oral.
After a few days of that I decided to have him learn to perform oral on me as well and that soon led to sex.
FME: Can you describe your feelings during that process?
During the kissing it was a bit exciting but I figured it was harmless and he was just getting the thrill of his life.
As we kept escalating I kept reasoning that it was fine since we both wanted it and enjoyed it. I was very hesitant at first, but reasoned to myself that it was just to help him with his nerves and build confidence with women. After we had full intercourse I felt so close to him and knew that this was something more than just fun and was something more serious.
FME: Before this had you ever thought this would be possible or enjoyable; did you have any opinion one way or the other about close relatives or family members being together?
I wasn’t familiar with this kind of relationship at all, nor did I think about it at all. It was not something that I was really exposed to ever. I had started looking online about it after we began having sex to see if I could find any sort of advice. I found some other testimonials from people claiming to be in similar relationships and it seemed like other relationships, some lasting and others just being flings.
FME: How do you describe the lovemaking now? Taboo? Natural? Especially erotic?
The lovemaking now feels natural but more enjoyable that any other relationship I’ve ever had. We both take pride and enjoyment in pleasuring each other. He, being a virgin when we first started, required a bit of instruction, but he quickly found his groove with me and we became extremely in sync sexually.
FME: Describe your relationship now.
We are privately, and publicly with a few of our friends, husband and wife. In public when we travel places where no one knows us, we are also outwardly a married couple when we can. In general in our neighborhood and surrounding area we just act as a mother and son. We frequently share a bedroom but have a second room for him in case we have visitors who aren’t aware to keep up appearances. I am still his mother of course but we are mostly a married couple, we are a more traditional mother son couple which is mostly fake for others when necessary.
FME: Are you in a closed relationship with each other?
We are in a closed relationship with each other. We have been exclusive since we started and are not interested in other partners.
FME: How did the people who know the truth react?
My sister knows the truth about us, I confessed to her early on. She was confused at first but quickly accepted our relationship and is supportive. I also have two friends, both women around my age who we have told and are accepting as well.
FME: Having to hide the full nature of your relationship from some people can be a disadvantage. Can you describe how that has been? What about any advantages?
It is a hassle having to turn on a fake persona between us when around certain people. It can be taxing having to act and not just be natural.
As for any advantages, well being together we are connected on an extra level being mother and son. He is more than a lover to me; he’s also a son, a friend, and the father of our children as well. It makes spending time together much easier and much more rewarding as there are multiple layers to our relationship.
FME: What do you want to say to people who disapprove of your relationship, to those who would say that this is one of you preying on the other?
I would say that our relationship is none of their business. We are two adults in a consenting relationship and it doesn’t affect anyone of them. People oppose other peoples relationships for all kinds of reasons: religious, economic, racial etc and none of them seem to care. If we didn’t approve of their marriages or relationships would they breakup? I doubt it.
FME: Aside from the law, which I think is ridiculous, can you think of anything that would make relationships like this inherently wrong?
As long as it is consensual between two adults, and there’s no cheating why should any relationship be wrong?
FME: If you could get legally married, and that included protections against discrimination, bullying, etc., would you?
Yes, I still have my dress from our ceremonial marriage ready.
FME: What advice do you have for someone who may be experiencing these feelings for a relative or family member, especially a mother or son?
First, figure out exactly what your feeling are, whether it's just being turned on with no other feelings or wanting an actual relationship. Then try to see if the other person feels the same and you are on the same page. If you are,then why not try it as long as you are open and honest and both really want it? The worst thing is that it doesn’t work out and may be a bit awkward for a while.
FME: What advice do you have for family members and friends who think or know that relatives they know are having these feelings for each other?
Be as supportive as you can. You shouldn’t just confront them and say you know because they are obviously keeping it secret for a reason, but make sure they know you are open-minded and a person they can talk to and be open with.
FME: Any plans for the future?
Just live together with our kids and enjoy our life. When they are older we will have to decide whether or not and how we should tell them the truth about us.
*****
Clearly, these lovers are consenting adults who aren't hurting anyone and yet they have to stay closeted and can't even exercise their basic human right to marry, even though they are living as spouses and raising children.. They are happy and in love, yet they are denied that fundamental right to marry.
Why should they be denied their rights? There’s no good reason.We need to recognize that all adults should be free to be with any and all consenting adults as they mutually consent, and part of doing that is adopting relationship rights for all, including full marriage equality sooner rather than later. People are being hurt because of a denial of their basic human rights to love each other freely.
You can read other interviews I have done here. As you'll see, there are people from all walks of life who are in consanguinamorous relationships.
If you are in a relationship like this and are looking for help or others you can talk with, read this.
If you want to be interviewed about your "forbidden" relationship, connect with me by checking under the "Get Connected" tab there at the top of the page or emailing me at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.
If you are concerned about pregnancies between close relatives, read this.If you know someone who is in a relationship like this, please read this.
Thank you to the Anonymous Woman for doing this interview! We wish you well in your intergenerational consanguinamorous marriage and your parenthood.
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