Wednesday, October 1, 2014

What Can Happen With Over Parenting

By Marty Wind


You can probably thank all the experts over the years for the rise of over parenting. Preventing kids from experiencing some things in life that are not really harmful is what happens. This phenomena was likely the result of times past when children on the whole were being neglected or there was not enough intervention. You really have to try and figure out if you're over parenting, and here are some tips to help you do that.

For a while, it was fashionable to say that kids should be praised no matter what. It's very possible and not so hard to give negative feedback to kids without making them cry, etc. Experts today believe that praising kids too much does not do them any good, and it only teaches them that they don't have to try very hard at anything. The world typically does not reward poor performance with praise, and that's the fallacy of that approach.

If you're wondering how you may be over parenting, just ask yourself if you have pushed your child into learning something they really had no interest in. Maybe your kid is doing some sport that he or she is only doing because you pressured them into. So this is something that is definite over parenting, and your kid may be reluctant to say something because they know it's what you want. Avoid destroying your kid's sense of personal independence by forcing something unwanted on him or her.

It's normal for kids to be central to the lives of parents, especially when they are very young. When your kids are born, if you take this too far, you could find yourself shelving your lives just for your kids. Sometimes parents will identify themselves with their kids, so much so that they will feel valueless without their children in their lives. What you want to do is be there for your kids, offer advice, and help them when needed. You can still have your interests, and raise your kids - it's a win-win scenario. When you do this, you can allow your kids to learn by example, observing what you do as well.

You just need to not be a helicopter parent if you want your kids to grow up healthy, well-balanced and self-assured. Over parenting is a very recent phenomena that the wealthy, or at least a well-off, seem to have created on their own.

Over parenting is more common than you may realize, and it's a less insidious form of control and influence. You will never be able to control all things in the life of anyone including yourself, so think about that. There are varying degrees of over parenting, so you have to try and get an accurate picture of your situation.




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