Consenting Adults Still Being Prosecuted in Samoa

Deidre Tautua-Fanene reports at sobserver.ws about another unjust and ridiculous prosecution of consenting adults for loving each other.

A brother and sister who became the subject of a Police investigation as a result of allegations of incest last month, have been charged.

Why? There is no victim to this "crime."

This was confirmed by Acting Assistant Commissioner Sala’a Moananu Sala’a.

“Police have completed their investigations and the brother and sister have been charged,” said Sala’a.

“The incident occurred in one of the villages in Savaii last month and it was the pastor who reported the incident to the Police at Vaito’omuli.

“They are scheduled to appear in Supreme Court for first mention on the 17th of July before Chief Justice, His Honor, Patu Tiavasu’e Falefatu Sapolu.

Do the right thing and throw this case out of court!

“According to the pastor, the brother and the sister go to the denomination that he looks after and he believes they are in a relationship,” Sala’a said.

“The brother is 26 years old while the sister is 18 years old.

So they are consenting adults. Leave them alone! They should be free to have sex, to hold hands, to live together, or to marry, if that's what they want.

At the moment, the brother is in custody while his sister is out on bail but has to sign in at the Vaito’omuli Police Station.

What a waste of resources! Every bit of time or money spent on such cases is time and money that could go to fighting real crimes, with actual victims.

It's another example of why full marriage equality is needed.

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Malta Advances

Malta is getting the limited same-sex freedom to marry! Yay! Keep evolving, Malta!

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Starting or Joining a GSA at Your School

Not only are school years a time for intense personal discovery and growth, but they are usually a time of intense pressures, including the pressure to conform, and bullying.

For those reasons, Gay-Straight Alliances, or Gender and Sexuality Associations, or Diversity clubs are critical.

If your school doesn't have such an organization, consider starting one. See here and here. It's time to make plans for the next school year.

If you school already has one, consider joining and/or supporting it. Student, faculty, and parental support are all needed.

Whether starting or joining, please do what you can to make the organization welcoming, inclusive, and accepting of all whose identity, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, or existing relationship (or that of their parents) makes them a target for discrimination or bullying.

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Are You Following Us At Tumblr?

If you don't have a Tumblr account, you can still bookmark this blog's sister blog and check it on a regular basis.

Here's a recent entry there answering a question about solidarity.

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Discovering Consanguinamory in the Family Tree

I am [or, had been] active on [a certain Big Online Portal's question and answer service], especially when it comes to explaining the importance of relationship rights, full marriage equality, and decriminalizing consanguinamory. Someone had this question...

Family Tree Concerns..?
My Grandfather recently passed away and my Grandmother told us all that her and my Grandfather were never married, they had always celebrated an anniversary (or so we thought,) but didn't understand while she waited till he died before telling us. After further research into my family tree I have discovered that my Grandmother married her Uncle (is this incest!?!), my Mother feels all weird because it feels like her life has been a lie and the only person she could have asked and got a proper answer was her Dad but now he's gone so we are both just looking for some advice or if anyone has been or is going through a similar situation...

This was my answer, which was chosen as the best answer (thankyouverymuch)...
= = = =
Here's what matters: Was your grandfather a good person? A good spouse to your Grandmother? A good parent? A good grandparent? THAT is what matters, not any genetic or legal relation to your grandmother. There's no lie about any of that. Your mother's life is no different now than it was before she knew that information. She's just allowing cultural prejudices to influence her reaction. Your grandparents had what is called a common-law marriage. As long as they were good to each other, that is what matters.

You didn't make it clear, but it appears you mean your grandfather was the brother of one of your grandmother's parents (he would still be an "uncle" to her if he had, at one time, been married to one of your grandmother's parents' sisters without any biological relation to your grandmother). Assuming there was a genetic connection (though it is possible he had been adopted into the family, too), that is still no reason for alarm. This is much more common than people think. People are finding out about this through DNA testing and family records, although family records don't always reveal the truth. If you go back further, it is virtually guaranteed you'll find you have consanguineous ancestors.

You don't have to go too far back in anyone's family tree to find these kinds of things. I doubt there is a person out there whose ancestry has nothing like this.

In other words.... you and your family are as normal as everyone else.
= = =

Just about everyone has incestuous childbearing in their family tree. In some cases, someone was raped, which of course is a horrible, or there was cheating. In other cases, it was true love between people who were not cheating on anyone. If the law prevented them from legally marrying or from telling the truth, that is a problem, a terrible problem, of the law, and just one of many reasons we need full marriage equality. It is not something wrong with the lovers.

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Rawa Fish Fry/ Rawa masala : Fish coated with cream of wheat and shallow fried.

We Mangaloreans love our fish! May be because we live in a coastal region. 😊 I am specially partial to fried fish. We fry our fish several different ways. We fry it plain with just the spicy marination, or coat it with a spicy masala and dip it in rice flour and fry it. We also dip the marinated fish in rava or cream of wheat and fry it when it is called Rawa fry!! I love the texture that you get with rawa fry. If you are gluten free, you can use corn meal instead of rawa. You get the same result.

The rawa fry can be a tawa fry ( pan fried), can be deep fried or shallow fried! I like to tawa fry it or shallow fry it for 2 reasons: a) it is healthier than deep-fried. b) the rawa does not drop off into the oil and get burnt.

Either ways, it is very easy to make. You can do this with any kind of fish. I have used tilapia. It works great with King fish, mackerel, porgy, pretty much any fish! You can use fillets it steaks. It makes a great combination with rice and Dali thoy ( dal) or rasam or with just plain rice kanji ( rice porridge).
Try it for yourself!!

Prep time: 10 mins + atleast 15 mins marination timeCook time: 10 mins
Total time: 35 mins

Servings : 2

Ingredients:

Tilapia pieces : 2 big ones

1/4 cup Oil: for frying ( can use more if needed).
Onion rings: 6-8,for garnish
Lemon wedges: 2, for garnish

For marination:

Red chilli powder: 1 tbsp ( I use Kashmiri chilli powder as it is not too spicy and give a nice red color).
Turmeric powder ( haldi): 1 tbsp
Asofoetida ( hing)powder: a pinch
Salt: to taste
Lemon juice: 1 tbsp
Water: to make a paste
Rawa /sooji( cream of wheat) or cornmeal: 4 tbsp

Method:

Clean the fish pieces and keep aside.

In a bowl mix together red chilli powder, salt, haldi, hing, lemon juice and water to make a nice thick paste.

Apply this liberally to the fish pieces and keep aside for atleast 20-30 minutes.

Heat  oil in a frying pan on medium flame.

Take the rawa/sooji in a plate. Dip the fish in it so that the rawa coats it completely on all sides.

When the oil is slightly sizzling,  place the fish steaks in the oil and let it cook on medium-low heat for 7-8 minutes on one side. 

Now flip it and cook for 5-6 more minutes on low heat.

Drain on paper towels.

Serve hot with onion rings and lemon wedges. 

You can also serve it as a side with rice, dal and other accompaniments to make a complete meal.

Enjoy!

I am bringing this to Angie's Fiesta Friday #179! Her cohosts this week are Petra @ Food Eat Love and Laura @ Feast Wisely. If you have never been to one of her fiesta's, you should..it is tons of fun!

Cooking made easy:

Whenever you fry something, make sure that the oil is not too hot or cold when you drop the fish in it. If the oil is too hot, the fish will get burnt and if the oil is not hot enough, the fish will absorb too much oil and become oily! To check the temperature of the oil, drop into oil a drop of the marinade or batter. It should float right up to the surface of the oil. If it sinks, the oil is not hot enough.

Tip for healthy living:

Using minimal oil while cooking greatly reduces the total fat ingested by the body on a given day. Also using healthier oils that are meant to sustain high heats like coconut oil, mustard oil, sesame oil is healthier.
Some oils are not meant to be heated! They lose their nutritional value upon heating!

Food for thought:

If a plan doesn't work, change it. Don't change the goal. Unknown

Please do share your thoughts. Your opinion matters!

Let us stay connected on Facebook | Pinterest | Twitter | Instagram | Google+

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Same-Gender Marriage and Consanguinamory in the US

Gay marriage (or same-sex marriage, or most accurately same-gender marriage) and consanguinamory (romantic and/or erotic love between close relatives) are usually (but not always) two different things.

As of this posting, there are people fretting that allowing more consenting adults their freedom to marry is going to result in... even more consenting adults having the freedom to marry! Oh, the horror! Because the limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry is now legal nationwide in the US, some people are asking if people in consanguineous relationships (or adult consensual incest) are going to have their rights and be treated like, you know, people.

Please note everything we're discussing here is about consensual sex and relationships between adults. We're not talking about rape or molestation.


In the US, the bigotry against marriage equality is rapidly losing out. We recently had the Supreme Court decide for the nationwide limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry. The denial of marriage equality still currently extends to preventing first cousins from marrying in a little over half of the states. If you consider cousin marriage incestuous, then the remaining states, which allow marriages between first cousins (some with ridiculous restrictions) are where same-gender first cousins can enter into monogamous same-gender "incestuous" marriage.



There are a few states with laws against consensual sex between first cousins, including North and South Dakota, Utah, Texas, Nevada, Kentucky, and Mississippi. The states that neither marry nor criminalize will generally allow first cousins to be together without marriage.

There are some states that do not criminalize consensual incest between closer relatives than cousins, but with very few exceptions, they will not marry those lovers. Most US states still have laws against consensual incest (consanguinamory), and in most of them, people do continue to be prosecuted for simply loving each other.

Laws against gay sex have been struck down by the Supreme Court. So, gay sex is now legal nationwide, consanguinamory isn’t yet.

Mixed-gender consanguinamory (such as brother-sister sex) involves sex between consenting adults of who are closely related.*

Gay marriage is a commitment between consenting adults of the same gender.

Those are usually not the same things.

Here are some things they do have in common: 1. They are between consenting adults. 2. They don’t hurt anybody. 3. Both have been subject to discrimination and being banned by the sex-negative busybodies who like to interfere in the love lives of others. 4. There is no rational reason, consistently applied to other relationships, as to why either of these are or were banned in certain places.  5. LGBT people do not choose their orientation and people do not choose the parents to whom they are born. 6. Gay relationships and consanguineous relationships have always been part of humanity, and are common around the world.

Otherwise, they are two entirely different freedoms to marry. I support both freedoms to marry, and others, because I support relationship rights for all and full marriage equality.

An adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with ANY and ALL consenting adults (and any of those without the others), without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. Don't like it? Then don't do it. (That’s a good, easy response to bigots that doesn't throw anyone under the bus.)

Different people have different likes and dislikes, different biases and prejudices than others. Some LGBT people are in consanguinamorous relationships. Other LGBT people are supportive, some neutral, and some disgusted by the idea. Just like everyone else. But nobody's disgust should interfere in another's life.

Consenting adults may do things with each other that might disgust a majority of other  adults, but that disgust of others should not prevent the consenting adults from having their sex or love lives. Each of us should stand up for the relationship rights of all consenting adults. Gay sex may disgust someone. Heterosexual sex may disgust another. BDSM may disgust someone else. Interracial sex may disgust someone else. Polyamory may disgust one person. Consanguinamory may disgust another. So what? The disgusted person doesn’t have to do it, but should recognize that other adults should be free to have orientations, feelings, and relationships they may not understand, and free to express their sexual desires with, and affections for, other consenting adults in the ways they want.


*Some places include adoptive or step relations under the criminalization of incest, even though there is no biological relation between the participants.

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Ingrate Rats Out Lovers Over Relationship That Ended Decades Ago

Brittany Vonow had quite the interesting story at The Sun, which I obtained via a foxnews.com link. I'm aware that the people who write the news items often don't write the headline. But here's what the headline says...

UK woman turns in her parents after discovering they are siblings

Of course that caught our eyes, given the consanguinamorous relationship. On to the story...

Donna Price, 32, discovered her parents had the same mother  (The Sun)

Growing up, Donna Price’s childhood seemed as picture-perfect as any other happy youngster’s.

Just consider that. She had a great childhood.

Her mom and dad doted on her and her siblings, and to outsiders they seemed the perfect family

Sounds great.

Donna’s world came crashing down one dark day in 2014 when she discovered the devastating news that her loving parents were brother and sister.

Why should that matter??? Did  she have a great childhood or not? What does it matter if her parents were related or different races?

The shock revelation not only tore the family apart, it ended up in a courtroom last month as the pair pleaded guilty to incest – narrowly avoiding jail.

This should not be a criminal matter! That is a waste of public resources.

Speaking exclusively to The Sun Online, Donna, 32, said she has still not recovered from the shock.

Breaking down in tears as she relived the betrayal, Donna, who approached the Sun Online to tell her story, said: “I feel my childhood was all based on a lie. I hate them.

Her childhood was based on a lie? What was the lie? She had a great childhood.

“There’s not enough words to describe how much I hate them.”

That's so sad.

To further twist the knife, Donna learned in the course of the police investigation that the man she knew as her father was not even her real dad – a DNA test found her mother had an affair with an unknown male.

OK, the way the article was written, especially given the headline, a bit confusing. When I first read through it, I thought Donna was conceived by half siblings, and then her mother married someone else. The word "affair" was confusing. But re-reading, it became clear that while Donna's mother was in a relationship with her genetic half-brother, Donna was conceived by another man. So Donna's younger siblings are apparently her genetic half-siblings and conceived by Donna's mother and her genetic half-brother, but they were all raised together as though full-blood siblings. Other than this article calling it an "affair" we have no indication it was actually cheating by Donna's mother. Donna could have been conceived during an encounter that that man who ended up raising her (her genetic uncle) knew about and approved of.

Still, what it s important is that the man who loved her and raised her was her dad in the most important ways. It is irrelevant that he's her mother's half-sibling.

But police confirmed her three younger siblings were her parents’ biological children.

Donna was given the devastating news about her incestuous parents in December 2014 by an estranged aunt, who confirmed the news through a Facebook message after rumors had started to swirl.

Shame on the gossips.

It was then, at the end of 2014, that Donna reported her own parents to the police, sparking a two year investigation that would see the pair eventually plead guilty and given suspended sentences in court.

Ugh. It's outrageous that it was even investigated.

A mother herself, Donna said she couldn’t understand how siblings could ever look at each other in a romantic way.

Some do. So what?

When contacted by The Sun Online, dad Robin was full of regret – but claimed he didn’t intend to fall in love with his half-sister – who he did not meet until adulthood.

So this was a reunion GSA case. They weren't even raised and socialized as siblings.

He claimed he met her in a pub in the 1980s – and had no idea that they were related until a year into the couple’s relationship.

What's so hard to understand that people fall in love??? They didn't even know of their relation. Since Donna's genetic father is another man, it is entirely possible she has half-siblings out there herself. And wouldn't it be delicious irony if she met one and experienced GSA?

Now 62, he said: “Looking at it now, then yes, it was wrong.

Well what's he going to say now, with the media hounding him and law enforcement on his back?

He said he and his half-sister had initially decided to break off their relationship after an aunt met them and realised they were related – but it was then they discovered the sister was pregnant.

So he stayed around and helped to give Donna a great childhood, helping to raise a child who wasn't his genetic child. How dare he!!!

The couple, who never married, then went on to have three more children, before finally separating in 1994.

Their youngest, Steven tragically died when he was just seven-years-old in 2001, with Donna’s parents breaking off all ties between them.

They had three children together, and it sounds like none of them had serious genetic issues as a result, or the article would surely mention that. So again we see that most children born to close relatives are healthy.

I hope Donna finds peace and perspective and apologizes for what shes done to her parents. They were adults, strangers, who had strong chemistry and fell in love. How is that a bad thing? They stayed together for a long time and gave their children a great childhood. If Donna had never found out what she did, or if she had a more understanding attitude, she'd still think of her parents and childhood as great. The negative effect on her life is entirely because of her own prejudice, which, to be fair, is what so much of society still perpetuates. Donna's life would  be a whole lot better if we respected that consenting adults should be free to have their relationships.

Donna could have had a terrible childhood, but she didn't. Donna's mother could have had a legal abortion. They could have abandoned her in a hospital parking lot. But they didn't. They gave her a great childhood and the thanks they got was being ratted out to law enforcement, taking advantage of laws that shouldn't even exist. This is infuriating and sad. It also doesn't help to have the article call this a "dark" secret.

Living Consanguinamorously - What To Tell the Children

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Equality, Life, Liberty, and Happiness

Today is Independence Day in the US, considered our country's birthday. Connected to the day is the Declaration of Independence, which touts equality and notes that we have the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

When the Declaration of Independence was written, equality was reserved for white, landowning, heterosexual, Christian males. Great strides have been made to extend equality to everyone else. As we know, equality just for some is not equality. In recent times, we have seen the death of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" for military service and we saw the burials of Prop H8 of at least part of DOMA, followed by many pro-equality court rulings ever since, now made even better with the Supreme Court ruling for the nationwide limited monogamous same-gender freedom to marry.

More people are coming out of the closet, and more allies are coming out in support of equality. More people are getting married, and now we have more polyamorous and polygamous people speaking up for their rights.

But we’re still on our journey. Equality, liberty, and the right to pursue happiness are, in many places in the US, and at the national government level, still denied to LGBT people. Even more so, these rights are denied to the polyamorous and the consanguinamorous.

Let’s keep moving forward so that an adult, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, or gender, is free to pursue love, sex, residence and marriage with any and all consenting adults, and not be denied liberty, employment, housing, or anything else.

This isn't just a philosophical thing or a principle. There are people, good people, who are hurt by ongoing discrimination, prejudice, and ignorance. There are people just being themselves, hurting nobody, and people who are in loving, healthy relationships who are being denied their rights, who have to hide who they are or their love for each other, who constantly endure people proclaiming that the love they share is sick or disgusting or makes them worthy of being subjected to abuse or death. There are teenagers who have simply behaved as normal teenagers with each other and haven't hurt anybody (including each other or themselves) who are being lied to and told that nobody else is like them and they are depraved. That's no way to have to live, it certainly isn't liberty, and it squashes the pursuit of happiness.

They need to know they are not alone, and there's nothing wrong with them.

We need independence from hate and ignorance. So let's keep evolving America, and encourage other countries to do the same.

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